


At Last

by Likiel



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Gen, Season 3 Finale
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-01-24 11:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1603919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Likiel/pseuds/Likiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You used to wish for happiness. You know better now. </p><p>Post 3x22</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Queen is Dead

**Alright. This is not the first Ouat fic I wanted to post. I had other planned, big plans for this summer with two great fics, one Evilcharming, one OutlawQueen; But last night episode killed me. I love Regina, I’m proud of how she had grown during those three seasons and I empathize a great deal with the Evil Queen. Regina is my favorite. I love the show _because_ of her. Last night was unnecessary cruel and downright unfair to her. She does not deserve this. So my take is very depressing, be warned. I needed an outlet. Sorry.**

**Warning: Major Character Death**

 

****

 

You see him look at her like he never looked at you before, like she was the sun, the sky and the stars above, like she was the reason there was a goddamn earth in the first place.

You can't stand to look at Miss Swan; that damn, dumb blond bitch. So much like her mother, never, ever thinking about the consequences of her actions, never believing that some lines aren't meant to be crossed, but crossing them all the same.

You can't bring yourself to look at the Charmings, and their brand new baby Neal, but you manage to catch Snow's horrified look and the anger that flashes through David's eyes when he looks at Emma. They know this is wrong. _Some lines must not ever be crossed._

You take a shuddering breath and the sound is lost among Robin's sobs and Marian's trembling laugh. You are suffering. You are suffering so much.

You find the strength to turn away and you head to the door, but not before Hook sends you a look of deep pity mingled with remorse and you want to hurt him, you want to hurt him for daring _pitying_ you, for helping his insipid girlfriend bringing back someone that should have stayed dead.

Every step is torture, every breath is unwanted, but you make it outside and halfway down the street before you feel a hand on your arm. You did not see Henry running after you; you did not saw him pushing Emma away with hissed words of anger and a mild disgusted look towards the renewed Locksleys before he took off after you.

You take his hand off your arm and into your own hand and you stay silent. You just walk and walk and walk, until the two of you finally reach the house.

You enter. You close the door. You look at him, and you don't feel anything.

He's looking right back at you though, he's looking at you like he saw you die, and why is that? You wonder. Did you die? _Did you die today?_

And now he framing your face with trembling hands and then, your son, your wonderful, kind, _good_ son tells you _sorry, sorry, sorry, Mom._

And you collapse.

Your knees gave out, they hit the floor so hard your entire being rattles and Henry follows you down, of course he does, and holds you tight, so tight and his hand is going through your hair in a soothing way, the way yours always did during those ten years you raised him while he raised you up, all unknowing.

Your breath hitches, you fight it, it hitches again and your throat is closing and suddenly you can't breathe, you can't think, you can't see and you fight all of this but your body fights back and you know, you know it's tired of taking blow after blow, you know it aches for release, any kind of release and suddenly you are done.

You forget what your son means to you when you fling yourself away from him, and you don't hear his scream when you wrench your heart, that hideous, pitiful, _treacherous_ thing, out of your chest.

You start to squeeze it, you intend to crush it, be done with it, because why not? _Why not?_

Henry knocks you over. He hurls himself at you and lands on top of you, breathing hard, shouting things you cannot make sense of and crying. He's crying, he's crying so hard and his face is above yours and it feels like it's raining.

He's crying when he takes your heart and kisses it, like one would kiss a booboo better, You look back up at Henry and he's crying when he pushes your heart back inside of your chest and you wonder when he got the ability to do so. He crying when he asks you, _begs_ you not to kill yourself and he's telling you he needs you, he needs you alive and with him but you are just so tired. You are so tired and you're bleeding inside. You just want it to stop.

You tell him so.

He cries harder.

But you're his mother, you are his mother, more so than Miss Swan will ever dream to be, so you put your arms around him and hold him and you don't like how frail and small and broken you are, you don't like how your arms tremble and your heart and your soul are _loathing_ you for forcing them into this life still, but you cannot seek oblivion because Henry is your son and you are his mother and you love him.

But oh, how you wish otherwise.

Hours later, Henry is lying with you in your giant, cold bed and it took some convincing to get him to sleep, to persuade him that you were not going to kill yourself while he slept. Outside it starts to snow and you briefly wonder about that because you know it's not supposed to. It's May, and it may be Maine, but even in Maine snowing this late into spring is anything but normal. But you'll be glad if you never saw the sun again, so you let it go.

You are spread next to your son, still, and you wish Zelena succeeded; you wish you were never born. You used to wish for happiness. You know better now.

You are spread next to Henry and find yourself grateful that he could cry the tears you have not, for you are no longer capable of such a thing.

You are spread next to the only true love of your life and you frown, let out a startled breath. Then a confused one. Then a painful one.

You close your eyes as pain overtakes your body, starting with your left arm and insinuating itself into every fiber of your battered being.

You turn your head towards Henry because you want your boy to be the last thing you see before the end. Always.

You close your eyes and your heart gives out. At last

 

 


	2. Long live The Prince

**Ok. I am deeply flattered by the reviews and feedback, I’ve gotten here, on Google plus and Tumblr and AO3, really thank you. I got to be honest, this was supposed to be a one-shot, but you guys are so keen on wanting others characters reactions that my mind took me elsewhere and I ended up with this. Enjoy and tell me if you think I should continue this.**

 

                                           

 

* * *

 

 

You wake up suddenly, clearly, with no lingering feel of sleep. You wake up as if you were never asleep. You wake up and you know, _you just know_ that Life as you knew and enjoyed it is now over. You wake up cold, but it's not because of the snow you can see furiously falling down outside through the window of your mother's bedroom.

You wake up cold because the most resilient part of you, the most beautiful part of you, has vanished.

Still, what your heart knows, your mind refuse to accept, and you are awake, lying in your mother's bed and you can feel her next to you but you can't bring yourself to look. You can't.

You shiver.

Your eyes stay stubbornly fixed on the ceiling, the creamy white perfect ceiling that you had wished to mess up so often when you were a child, and your hand, your trembling hand reaches out blindly, seeking out your mother's. A gasp rips from your lips when you find it.

Her hand is colder than yours.

You blink. You bite back a scream. You bite your tongue and you bleed.

You turn your head and you see her, tragic and beautiful even in her death, lying next to you, no tears on her face. _The fairest of them all_ , you think, and you truly, utterly believe that.

You look at her for a long time, frozen inside, unable to feel, unable to move. And maybe you should cry, maybe you should scream, break something, shake her, _do something_ , but there is nothing left in you that remotely seems like willpower, so you look at your dead mother, press yourself against her cold body and settle your gaze on the outside view, trees flinching and bowing under the assault of the bellowing snow storm that reflects the tragedy of what is happening.

She's your mother. She's your mommy, she was always there, even when you didn't deserve her, especially when you didn't deserved her, and she loved you so fiercely, so utterly, so _madly_ that you just know she did not kill herself. She promised not to, she promised, she promised.

Maybe because all will, joy and hope had deserted you, you instinctively know that her heart gave out. That she just couldn't take any more of this _hell_ she had to call life.

You will not cry. You have cried enough. You rise from her bed and tenderly kiss her forehead. You look around the room. You flex your fingers.

A burst of white and black flames escape from your hand.

It is ironic that her death led you to your magical abilities. But this will work to your advantage. This will work for the _better_ ; now that you are _aware_ , aware of everything, aware like you never were before, aware of the magic fuel that you carry within yourself, aware of the elemental reason behind the blue of Earth, aware that you are powerful, more powerful than anyone in this town, and an equal match to the Queen.

You are also aware that this storm raging outside is not natural. You are aware that Emma must have screwed up more than you thought. You wonder if Storybook's new guest might be willing to help you. You can convince them. You know you can.

You turn to your mother, your broken and dead mother, the real one, the tortured one, and you kiss her again, a light brush on her pale lips, and you're murmuring to her, _promising_ to her, that she won't stay dead long. She won't, she won't, she won't.

And she will be happy. You don't know how for now. But you will give her everything. Just like she did for you.

Your hands glows and that glow went straight to her, enveloping her, protecting her and preserving her essence. You don't know how you know that, but you don't doubt it.

You take your coat, put your shoes on, pull your hood over your head and you leave the house the exact same way you entered it, in silence.

 


	3. The Prince's Wrath

**Ok. Thank y'all for your reviews, seriously you are amazing. You are the reason why I update so fast and why this chapter is long and really, keep reviewing if you want more, it's fantastic to know I can share this with you people. In this chapter, warning for Henry, or should I say Prince Henry's wrath. David, Tink and Roland's relationship with Regina will be answer later on. Enjoy and tell me what you think.**

 

* * *

                                                              

 

**Chapter three**

 

 

The snow storm would no doubt feel like whip against the skin of anyone else, but it doesn't affect you. Your eyes are clear, wide open, you hold yourself and your head high and you keep walking determined, unbreakable and unforgiving. You can feel the bloody storm howling in outrage at being unable to stop your course and when it roars at you, you roar back.

You keep walking and walking and walking until you finally reach Granny's diner. You are as amused as you are irritated to notice that everyone is still inside, for they are too afraid to brave the Devil's storm. This is mildly unfortunate, you think. You really, _really_ don't want to be confronted by the mass right now and you definitely have no patience for fools.

There are only two people you need to take with you. You know they will come willingly but you didn't want to have to seek them in front of half the goddamn town.

But you must. Your mother, your beautiful and dead mother is counting on you.

You are just a little unsure that you will be able to control yourself if you see Robin Hood or if Emma tried to stop you. It is not easy, it is _hard_ to push back your feelings of hatred and anger and despair, to shove them back in the darkest pit of your desolated soul, but you do it. You do it because your mom died and would gladly stay dead if she saw you destroying people for revenge.

So, you take a deep breath and you get a firm, iron grip on your murderous feelings and restrain them with your love for the Queen.

You do all that with a whole new appreciative respect for the _Evil Queen_.

When you enter the diner, everyone goes silent. People are staring and gaping at you and you know you must be a sore sight to behold, red-rimmed eyes but no more tears to cry, pale and taunt face but with no trace of frost on it, body string tight and ready for war but not a single snowflake on your clothes.

But you don't have time to answer stupid questions or unwanted inquiries, you are here for one reason and you have a mission to accomplish. You take two steps inside and look around for David and Tinkerbell, but before you have the chance to call for them, Emma charges at you and pulls you into a hug that makes your entire skin _crawl_.

The fool mistakes this for a sign that you are cold and process to squeeze you harder and this time it's your entire soul that rebels at the idea of one of your mom's _executioners_ , touching you, holding you, like she owns you, like she has any right to do so.

Only your mother is allow, only the Queen, but the Queen is dead and you have no use, no patience, _no love_ for the Savior, you want her _away_ from you **right now**.

So you _push_ her. You forget for one second about your newfound abilities and your resolve not to give in to the darkness of your soul. You forget all of that and you push Emma away from you, you push her so hard that she falls on her ass on the floor and she looks up at you and she looks shocked, hurt and confused and all you can think is that you should have _pushed her harder, blast her to the wall, pin her to the ceiling._

" _Henry,_ " she says and the single word seems to contain all the pain she can muster and you actually sneer at her, you want to laugh, you want to scream but her pain is not enough, it's not even close to what she should feel, but really, you are not surprised because what does she knows about pain? About taking it and dying because of it? You are disgusted by the sight of her, she ruined everything, _she ruined your mother_. You woke up and your mom was dead and this is mostly Emma's fault and _you will never forgive her for this._

You don't bother saying a word to her and walk past her, careful not to let any of her limbs touch you, and call for your allies with a commanding, royal voice, the voice your mother gave you.

David and Tinkerbell both approach you without any hesitation and you can see it on their faces, you can see the anguish, the worry, the dreadful feeling that something must be wrong, so wrong, and you hold both their eyes and silently demand silence. At least until the three of you are out of this snake pit.

"I need the two of you to come with me," you said and they both nod and you feel a wave of affection for them, because you know they both love your mom in their own way. Behind you the pirate helps Emma to her feet and she stupidly dares to address you again.

"Henry? What… what is going on, why... where is Regina?"

And just like that you lose that admirable but pitiful restrain you have on your rage and you whirl around to face Emma, and your words are poison arrows and bullets and you hurl it all at her.

"Don't speak of her in front of me! Don't you even dare to say her name! You have _no right_ to let her name cross your lips! And do not speak to me either, leave me be, or I swear _you will regret it_."

Your words are delivered with an utter, bone-deep rage. And the diner is as silent as a tomb and you know without looking at them that your grandfather and Tinkerbell must have realized that Regina is dead, because she always had a tight leash on the vicious creature you had the potential to be and now you are free.

Emma stand there, gaping at you, looking all kinds of hurt and you shoot her the most contemptuous look you can muster and you hear a few people gasp because you know, _you know_ you look just like the mayor right now. But really, what did they expect? She is your _mother_ and you would rather look like her in her anger and contempt than that clueless creature _only_ mother to you through an accident of birth.

"What exactly did you think was going to happen when you brought back Maid Marian here?" you ask her, letting the scorn and fury infiltrate your voice. "Did you honestly think that you could cheat Death without consequences? That you had the right to change the past to your heart's content? How arrogant can you be, _Emma_?"

The accusations you are throwing at her make a dent in her self-righteous armor, but not as much as the return of her given name coming out of your mouth. And you know it hurts, and you are glad for it, because when your mother comes back from the dead, she will be the only woman you will ever call _mom._

You barely register the flinches and gasps going through the town inhabitants as they watch you put the savior in her damn place but you manage to catch a glimpse at Robin's ashen face and Maid Marian's confused one.

You do not notice Roland's expression.

"Henry," Emma starts with a pleading expression but you can see she still full of crap, full of herself and she doesn't understand the disaster she had created. "Henry… I just wanted to save her life… Reg… the Queen's guards were going to execute her, I had no choice!"

" **You had a fucking choice!** " you roar, and this time you don't hold anything back, and Emma cringes at the volume and venom of your voice. "This was her _destiny_ to die, at that place and at that time! It was not on you to intervene and change that! And how do you know she did not escape after all? How do you know she was to die that day anyway? God, you just don't think before you act, do you? Who the fuck do you think you are, Emma?"

"I…"

"You are a _fool_! You are a fool and because you played _God_ , because you had the _audacity_ to think you could cheat _Death_ , you just brought its wrath on this town. You just created a situation where grief will take over all of us, where the smallest change could create a ripple effect that could _tear this very place apart_! You don't want to believe it, but you have blood on your hands. You are no savior. You are a destroyer. You are a _murderer_."

Emma takes a step back and you advance, despite David's hand on your shoulder.

"What do you think is going to happen exactly?" you ask her in a tone dripping with sweet sarcasm and you see her shiver and you are glad. "That woman –" you point in the vague direction where the Locksleys are sitting, "doesn't belong here. This is not her time and this is not her place. The whole thing is wrong, and since your _hubris_ spares her, it is my guess that someone else will die because she lives."

This time you recognized Snow's and Robin's gasps alongside the buzzing sound the unnerved people are starting to make around you.

"For as long as she's here, someone will die, for the days she is stealing from Time. _Every action has consequences._ This is yours."

Emma looks horrified and so does Hook but the fool of a pirate still manages to ask:

"How do you know that, mate?"

And your lips curls above your teeth and you want to rip his head off for asking but you must deliver that special blow because you want Emma _destroyed_ for what her careless act cost you.

"Someone already died."

The words leave you with a bitterness that makes your stomach _ache_. You couldn't save her before and she died in her bed, with you sleeping. You were sleeping and she died and _dear God_ , she might as well have died alone. Your heart hurts so much right now, you would gladly rip it out but you immediately shake off that thought. For all the love you have for the Queen, you are not her.

And now, Emma is crying and you scoff at her because what good will her tears do? You have no use for them and there are actually starting to anger you.

"You are the last person in this goddamn town who has the right to cry," you spit at her and she hiccups, devastated. "You should focus on saying goodbye to the people close to you because you don't know who is going to die next! It might be Snow, or Hook, it might even be little Neal!"

This time when you feel David's hand on your shoulder tremble, you stop. You turn around to face him and Tinkerbell and you notice that grief is marring both their faces and you think of your dead mother and you blink back your own tears.

"Don't worry," you murmur to your grandfather, "I won't let it happen. And Mom's death is not natural, I can bring her back and I will."

The diner bursts out in exclamations and cries at your last words, as those useless people finally realize that the Queen is dead and that you, Henry Mills, always _Mills,_ came to your magical inheritance.

But David and Tinkerbell stand tall, trusting and nod at you. They will help you, do anything for you and they love your mom, no matter how difficult it had been to do so, they love her and they want her back.

You raise your hands and two glowing spheres appear above them. You send them towards David and Tink and they don't even flinch. _Yes_ , you think, _they will do_.

"It will protect you from the storm," you say to them and you watch as David catch Snow's gaze and she just nods at him, assuring him she'll be fine and to do what he must. You watch as neither David nor Tinkerbell spare a glance at Emma or Hook and the three of you head out for the door. Finally.

You are almost there when you feel something weird crawling up the back of your neck. At the corner of your eye you manage to catch the reason for that vibe of power you can feel.

Roland is looking back at you and his warm brown eyes are now blue with magic and grief.

You turn around and hide a smile as you exit the diner after the Green Fairy and the Shepherd Prince.

Things just got interesting.

* * *

 


	4. The Soulmate and The Knight

** What's up people, I'm back! First of all, I'm so sorry for the looong wait y'all had to endure to get this update! I never intended to take this long to continue “At Last” but Life has been a demanding brat, and it was in my best interest to indulge it as much as I could. But now, I have my me-time back and will of course, continue and finish “At Last”, that was always a given. **

  
  


** Second of all: Oh. My. God. Thank you, thank you all so much for the marvellous response I've gotten for this fic! Only three chapter and that much reviews? THANK YOU! This is amazing, and anonymous, I don't know how many time you nudged me to update and not give up on this fic, but I want to tell you that I greatly appreciate your enthusiasm and your dedication for this fic! I hope you get an an account so I can reply to you when you leave a feedback. Otherwise, just go to my ask.fm (link on my account) or my twitter (same) and I'll reply for sure ^^ **

  
  


** This chapter is all Locksleys POV! Robin and Roland... it was rather a hard chapter to write, maybe because it was Robin's POV, but I think, well I hope you will like it. A little warning though: this is seriously diverging from canon, my Robin is well... let's just say there is a reason why he's the Evil Queen's soulmate. **

  
  


** You can find this story on AO3, Tumblr with the art I've made, it's pretty and creepy, I hope you'll like it!  **

  
  


** _A/N: Huge kudos and hugs to_ ** ** _ my beta Galxychld  _ ** ** _who is great and awesome and amazing!_ **

  
  


** Have a good read and remember, feedback are snowflakes on scorched skin.  **

 

 

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** Chapter Four: The Soul Mate and the Knight **

 

_** \---Robin--- ** _

Never once in your life have you hated someone as much as you hate Miss Swan right now.

It is not an unfamiliar feeling, not at all. You used to hate the same way you used to love, utterly and fiercely. No nuances in-between. You are not unfamiliar with the two extreme edges of those particular feelings, and you definitely know what it feels like to have your soul twisted, deformed and floored with the black ooze of the worst emotions a human being can carry. Very few people know that about you. And the woman sitting next to you, clinging to your arm and shaking with fear and confusion, is definitely not one of them.

When you first met Marian, you were still a boy at heart, an idealist, an arrogant and careless outlaw, full of that wild savage glee that made you take unnecessary risks, pushed you into the most reckless actions and shaped your legend as the Prince of Thieves. When you married her, you didn't know much about love, but you knew about lust and you knew about honor. You always knew too much about honor.

So, you had sex with her, married her and you fell in love. In that order. Maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe it wasn't the proper way to court a lady as noble as Marian, but she seemed more than fine with the way things were. When she gave you Roland, your entire world shifted and what you thought you knew about love suddenly seemed futile and empty. Roland had set your all world on fire. Your son was everything you never knew you wanted until you held him in your arms.

That's when you fell in love with the mother of your child.

You should have known that marrying the girl before you could give her all your heart was a mistake, but with Roland in your arms, you couldn't find it in yourself to regret it. You loved Marian, you truly did. She was kind and beautiful and she had a definite and eternal place in your heart.

But it was just a place.  _ She never had it all. _ She never invaded all your heart and she definitely never touched your soul. She was your companion, your partner and together you had a son. She was the warmth in your bed, the peace you craved after a hard day; to sum it up, the domesticity, the security,  _ the habit _ you liked to indulge in when your wild adventures with the Merry Men became too much.

But you never let her deep inside of you. You never really shared your darkest desires, your deepest fears and your most sinful secrets with her. She was your wife and your companion. She was the mother of your son and yet… you never allowed her to  _ truly _ know you. You never let her  _ in _ . You didn't know how.

Or at least, that's what you told yourself.

Until you met Regina.

There are no words for what Regina enacted inside of you. The first time you addressed her was not the first time you saw her, of course not. From afar, during your wildness and the most stupid stunts you pulled as an outlaw, you did manage to catch glimpse of the Evil Queen's face, and it was enough to keep you at bay and away from her because,  _ dear Lord and all the angels above _ , she truly was the fairest of them all. Her beauty, her sensuality, her sexuality, the way you saw her parading herself through villages, threatening and destroying the fools that were stupid enough to shield Snow White from her, the way you watched her as she violently let out her magic free and used it to strike the harshest punishments on her enemies and soothe her soldiers with the kindest rewards…

Even from afar and even when she was nothing but the Evil Queen to you, you felt this savage  _ need _ for her. The need to reach out, the need to touch, to bruise, to take and maybe even hurt. The need to possess her.

At the beginning you thought it was just lust. A very intense and crazy sort of lust but lust all the same. It was not until you start dreaming, fantasizing really, about  _ her _ touching, bruising and possessing  _ you _ , that you knew she was the only foe you would not actively try to seek out.

So you and your men stayed away. You did not feel guilty about it for Regina was actually a magnificent leader to her realm, as long as the people weren't trying to help Snow White. There were very little poverty and never to the extent of what you had witnessed in other realms. No, you did not felt guilty about letting your duty towards the poor go.

But you did felt guilty about your dark dreams, about wanting the Evil Queen and about her wanting you. But again, you were able to lie to yourself about it because as the months passed, your relationship with Marian became an impasse, something hard and disagreeable, and something you didn't want to deal with.

She was changing. She was changing the more Roland was growing and you didn't like the changes at all. You could see it as clear as day, the resentment, the exasperation, the anger she had at you for putting her in this position, for making her a  _ mother _ .

The joy of Roland's birth fading, you could see how much her duty towards your son bothered her. She resented how much she had to take care of him, how she had to stay at the camp all the time and how you were free to roam around and pursue  _ your _ desires.

You could see her dark scowl when you came back at night and your first words and gestures were for your son and not her. You could see the downward pull of her mouth and the clenching of her jaw every time the Merry Men were boasting about Roland with pride and joy while they avoided her because of her dark temper.

She was jealous of you and she was jealous of her son and you didn't know what to do. It didn't help that you couldn't shake off the feeling of contempt you had for her because of her attitude towards your son, even when you knew you should be more understanding. But as far as you were concerned, Roland was the purity of this world; he was Perfection and Love incarnate and you could not envision how  _ his own mother _ could resent his very existence.

So, one night, as Roland's cries woke you up and you saw Marian standing above his crib, just staring at the babe and letting him cry and cry and cry until he was practically choking on his sobs, you knew what you had to do. The look on her face frightened you, thoughts running through your mind of how small Roland was, how delicate, how fragile and helpless, tales of babes dying in their sleep, dying for no reason, dying as they turned their faces into comforting and  _ smothering _ blankets. And you didn't think she  _ really _ would, but the blankets were there, and Roland was  _ so small. _

It was very easy to convince your wife to go to the northwest village near Willow's Creek, a very small village in need of a helping hand, an isolated place with kind people and few children in it. Your men had a lot of food to give to those people and you thought some time apart between you and Marian will do her some good, and some distance between her and Roland would work out for the better. You told yourself that she would miss him and realize he was no burden, realize she didn't have to live for him but with him.

Of course, Marian was all too eager to get away from you, her son, and the Merry Men. You tried to hide your disgust. The Merry Men did not. She never noticed anything.

As you and the Merry Men left the village with Marian in it, Arthur, the youngest and the hardest of your fellow companions, came to you and confirmed what you already suspected.

Snow White was hiding in this village.

And the Evil Queen was on her way.

You had time to plan it, to weigh the pros and cons, to determine if you could live with yourself once the deed was done.

You thought of Roland, your sweet Roland, and the tears he cried, the tears Marian refused to wipe.

And you made your choice.

As you headed for the eastern part of the Enchanted Forest, you never once looked back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_** \---Roland--- ** _

Gina was dead.

Henry said so.

Gina was dead, and you hadn't even thanked her for the ice cream she bought you and for making your Papa laugh like he would never stop. Gina was dead and you didn't kiss her goodnight, like you were supposed to today. She was dead and you didn't bake cookies together like she promised you would, because you were so eager to learn. She was dead and you hadn't taught her how to use a bow because she was equally eager to learn from you.

Gina was dead and you didn't have time to be her son.

You were going to ask her if she could be your mommy. You were going to, you swear, you just... when you saw your papa hug the Marian lady, you remembered all the things the Merry Men whispered about her and how your papa felt guilty for what he did.

You didn't know what he did but you didn't want him to feel guilty about  _ anything _ .

But now... now it's your turn to feel guilty, and it's awful, it burns your stomach and makes your throat ache. You did hug the lady and called her Mama and you let her hug you because you saw that guilty expression on your Papa's face and you just wanted to make everything better.

But Gina must have thought you were not hers anymore. She must have felt hurt and at that thought, the hot tears you tried to hold back find their way down your cheeks. You  _ never _ wanted to hurt Gina, you  _ love _ her. You love her  _ so much _ , she's your hero and she's your Queen and she will be your mama, not the Marian lady. You didn't choose  _ her _ , you chose  _ Gina _ , you chose Gina the  _ moment _ she saved you from the flying monkey and you fell in love with her when she called you her little knight after you offered her that flower in the palace.

Henry said Gina is dead because Marian is here. He said Marian didn't belong here. He said he will bring Gina back.

You will help him. You don't want to hurt Marian but if you have to choose between her staying here and Gina staying dead then, really, there is no choice at all. Gina will be your mommy, you promised yourself that, back in the Enchanted Forest and you know, you know your papa loves her. He kissed her and touched her all the time. He loves her. You, Papa, Gina and Henry will be a family. You have to, you deserve it. Nothing will stand in your path. Not even your birth mother.

Something hot and cold, harsh and sweet is drumming inside of your chest and it feels like it's caging and freeing your heart at the same time. Your breath hitches and you close your eyes, feeling a wave of pure power wash over your entire being. You sit here next to your parents, in the middle of the chaos that is Granny's Diner, and you give yourself to Magic, you let her destroy you, then remake you.

When you open your eyes, your Papa is staring at you, love, grief and fear mixed together in his eyes and you abruptly realize that you are not the only one that has been destroyed and remade.

But you can't let him distract you from your mission. You are the Queen's knight and you will help bring her back.

You focus all your thoughts on Henry, and before your Papa can grab you, you disappear into nothingness. Your queen is waiting.

 

 

_Thoughts?_


	5. Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge. - Part 1

 

**Hello y'all!**

**So, yes, I've finally updated! I'm sorry for taking so long, and making y'all wait, I really am. But I gotta say that your reviews and your encouragements were like gold and balm to my soul and pushed me to give you the best of this tale that I could imagine. I will update and finish "At Last" soon, I already planned the next chapters, it should not be more than 5 others, and the intensity (and plot!) is going to build higher and higher, until we suffocate with it. I plan a very shocking (sorry ^^) and dark (not sorry!) ending. I'm just awful like that, lol!**

**I will be honest, aside from the obligation Real Life dealt me those past few months, the other reason I did not update is because I'm truthfully disgusted with Canon. What they did with Robin, Marian and eurgh _Zelena_ … that baby plot… Just no. No. I won't get into full rant here, just know that I won't follow canon on this. Ever. Now, enjoy this chapter and please, review!**

**Thanks to y'all reviewers:**

**ArTeMuS09, dakota1979, pt159, Sailor Fayth 09, b, fanfic-addict15, kurotenshi-08, Fighteratheart, RedBlackandLights, OutlawherMajesty, Shipper-nut, Bonasera1, Domitia Ivory, manning16, FraiseDandelion, wcying713, thisisacrazydream, M0996, fanfic-addict15, and all the Guests!**

Special kudos to: **letgolaughing :** Emilyyyyyy ! Thank you so much for your reviews, I cannot describle how happy I was that you liked this story that much! And most importantly thank you for your wonderful, wonderful stories. They gave me back my vibe. This update is for you, enjoy this, and I promise, if the style of my EC is going to be different, the vibe (and the darkness) will be similar to "At Last"! ^^

**Karrie** : Girl… I don't even know what to say about the massive review you left me… thank you, thank you, thank you. It's really people like you that made my determination to update and finish this story, any story really, iron solid. You rock, dear, so enjoy this because this update? It's also for you.

**Galxychld** : my betaaaaaa ! What can I say? You are awesome. Just beyond words. Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter Five: Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge. - Part 1**

 

 

 

****

 

 

**_-David-_ **

Both you and Tinkerbell are standing in front of Regina's bed, and your eyes are wide open with pain. Shock is stilling your breath, your body is taunt with grief and your mouth is silently screaming that endless howl of agony, the crimson one, made of the loss of her, _her_ that you have hated and loved _so fucking much._

You vaguely hear Tink stumble out of the room and you think you hear the sound of someone retching but you are not sure. You are not sure of anything right now, except of her dead body. She's dead and you cannot move, you think of perhaps leaving that room too, turning your head away, maybe even just closing your eyes, anything, _anything_ but having to stare at her, _her_ , so pale and tragic, beautiful, breathtaking and dead, dead, dead, lying in her bed.

But you can't.

You're not in control anymore, your senses have taken a leave of humanity and only grief is here, holding hands with horror and from your guts, they have struck you down and you are unaware of your labored breath as you walk slowly to her side, you are unaware of your hand until it touch her cold cheek and oh God, _oh God_ , you're crying, you're sobbing, suddenly this pain is so much more larger than you are and you cannot breath, you cannot think, you collapse at her side, knees rattling against the Persian rug. Your head is bent low, your forehead is resting on her breast and you are sobbing so loud now, louder than you have in years and you don't know it yet, you can't know it yet, but you are the epitome of a heartbreak, the true representation of a world crumbling.

You didn't have enough time. You didn't have enough time to make sure she knew how much she meant to you. You want to believe that she still knew it somehow, that after everything you went through with her, she guessed it but you are not sure, because Regina never put much faith in the love others could feel for her. She was such a firm believer that anything good in her life could never be something permanent. You know exactly when you started your quest to prove her wrong.

When your wife and daughter fell into the portal, you watched from afar as the Queen was stripped of the little happiness she had. Her son leaving her without a backward glance, her job taken away from her- never mind than no one in Storybrooke knew the first thing about how to run a town- and in addition to all of this, her safety was highly compromised as most of the town's citizens wanted nothing more than to take revenge on her. You didn't do much for her at that time; sure, you stopped some ill-intentioned people from going near her house, but you refused to feel sorry for her, you still burned with rage against her, and what she did to your family. As far as you were concerned, she got exactly what she deserved. And you did tell her the truth, you would have gladly killed her if it wasn't for Henry.

You were so _high_ on your white horse back then. You were so arrogant, so _blind_ , so self-centered that it never occurred to you that with Snow out of the way, you could start thinking for yourself and open your eyes to some harsh truths not so carefully hidden anymore.

You had spent so much time being what others wanted you to be. Prince James. Prince Charming. Nobody had ever seemed interested in who you really were: David. Just David. Shepherd turned Prince, father without his child, asleep for 28 years as the world passed around you and waking to another forced identity: David Nolan, husband to Katherine.

Until Regina gave you back your name and your identity.

The elaborated gilded web of lies Snow and others wove around your eyes was cruelly torn apart the night you watched the Queen's true love die for the second time. Daniel had begged for release and she obeyed. She did something you realized you couldn't have done yourself, in her place. Watching her give him to Death felt like watching Regina committing suicide. And you realized it then, you realized that Snow had lied to you.

_"She poisoned an apple because she thought I was prettier than her."_

How could you have been so **stupid**? How could someone as intelligent, as clever, as strong as Regina poison someone for something as petty as looks, especially when it was clear that she was lovelier than Snow?

That night you asked Ruby to watch over Henry. Something deep inside of you was pulsing and thundering against your ribcage. You were dead set on going to the mansion but at the same time you were terrified of what was going to happen when you did.

You waited for Ruby in Snow's living room, feeling out of place, skin dried and body taut with tension, impatient to get out of the apartment that smelled so much like your wife, a woman who, you started to suspect, likely made you believe in a lie for years. Made you bleed for it.

You watched as Henry, your grandson, Regina's son, came to you, mouth pinched in a petulant pout, brow drawn together in an upset frown and asked, no, _demanded_ to know where you were going, and why would you go to Regina when she again used magic and broke her promise and killed someone, why would you leave _him_ to go to her and _why would you even ever care?_ Your patience was wearing thin and finally completely evaporated at Henry's callous and unfair judgment of his mother and he reminded you so much of yourself that it made you sick. Sick and angry.

You turned around and said nothing but since the first time you met the boy, you let your mask, your gullible, kind and gentle "Prince Charming" mask drop off, and you looked him in the eyes.

You let him see your bitter disappointment at him, the disdain you felt towards his behavior and the anger his last question brought.

_Why would I even care?_

"Someone has to," you responded, _and you made it clear it's not going to be you._ You didn't have to say the rest out loud, it was already hanging in the air as if you had screamed it. Henry seemed paralyzed by what you allowed him to see and by the harsh but true words you dealt to him. His little face was paler than you ever saw it be and his eyes were welling up with tears and for a second, just a second, you saw Snow in him, all those times where she used that same tactic, teary eyes, windows of a heart you had wounded, to make you bow down to her whims. You didn't think Henry knew what he was doing, but it made you angry all the same, it made you furious and you had to get out of there immediately, before you did something you would regret.

Thankfully the front door opened and Ruby walked in. You didn't let her get a word out and you found yourself unable to face the woman that (you were unsure of it) was a part of Snow's lying fantasy world, so you rushed towards the door, ignoring her calls.

You _don't_ remember the ride from the apartment to the manor, you don't remember how you broke into her house after calling her out for twenty minutes.

You don't _want_ to remember your shock at discovering the state of her living room, the battered furniture, the broken ornaments, the torn apart curtains, the shattered glasses, the stains of whatever liquid she'd been drinking darkening the carpet and the walls.

You don't _want_ to remember the dead cold fear that paralyzed your heart as you called for her again and nobody answered, you don't want to remember stumbling over her shoes and clothes, discarded all over the steps as you hurriedly climbed up her stairs and rushed towards her bedroom.

But good God...

_Nothing_ can make you forget her empty bed. _Nothing_ can make you forget the sound of water dripping on the floor as you robotically made your way into her bathroom.

And you'll never forget.

It's there. It will forever be there, behind your eyelids, iron-branded in your irises, carved into your brain and haunting your heart.

You remember.

Your hands, your trembling hands, pulling her out of the tub.

You remember.

The water, drowning everything but your tears, dripping everywhere, looking more like an ocean than a river, and red, so red, crimson with her blood and your shame.

You remember.

Her naked body, so fragile, so broken, and when did she became so petite? Had she always been so small? So breakable? _So thin_?

That night, as you coaxed her into a state of semi-consciousness, bandaged what needed to be bandaged, dressed her in a black nightdress, and put her to bed, you sat by her side, and looked deep into her eyes, deeper than you ever did before. The last time you pierced her gaze with yours was the night after you ordered her execution. You never allowed that kind of intimacy again after that.

She looked back at you, unable to put back her unbreakable mask and you knew that it was time. You needed to let her know that you had finally realized that the only reason she had devastated so many lives was because hers had been devastated first, with no one to acknowledge the loss.

You took her hand between your two larger ones and her gaze flickered at the foreign sight, before tiredly looking back at your face, wary and broken but not defeated, not yet. Otherwise, you wouldn't have pulled her out of that tub alive, you were sure of that.

You pressed your lips against her knuckles and her eyes slowly widened.

With a rough voice, you asked her only two questions. Two questions nobody took the time to ask before.

_Was Snow the reason your true love died?_

_How old were you when you married the king?_

She broke down. It only took those two little questions and she shattered in front of you, slayed open by her sorrow and torn apart by her pain.

You had your truth. And that night, Prince Charming died.

David survived, but barely. And you promised yourself, _you promised her_ that you would right Snow's wrongs somehow, that you would help Regina anyway you could, help her with her pain, help her fight the darkness, help her with Henry.

But most of all, that night you promised her that nobody would ever, ever hurt her like Snow and Leopold did. Ever.

Oh, how _utterly_ you failed.

* * *

**_-Tinkerbell-_ **

You have spent the last twenty minutes sitting on the floor, your back against the wall, right outside Regina's bedroom, listening to David's anguished sobs and you are not feeling anything.

You saw her, dead, on that bed, dead and empty of everything that made her who she is, you saw her utterly annihilated, vanquished, gone and still, you are not feeling anything.

You can't feel anything because you are not allowed to. You refuse to let grief and sorrow push you towards insanity, you refuse to fall into despair, not now, not when she's dead but shouldn't be. Not when you know she won't stay dead for long.

Only when she'll live again and will be able to see how much damage her temporary demise did to those who love her unconditionally will you walk back home. Only when she'll live and will be able to strike back against Fate, who has always been a bitch to her, will you crawl into your bed and hide away from this wretched world. Only when she'll live and wake to the crimson world her son has lay down to her feet, will you let yourself grieve and rage and sob because this situation? This dead queen, this motherless child, this sobbing man, all of this is, in some part, your fault.

Oh, you won't take full responsibility, you and everyone in this house, dead or alive, know better than that... And Emma will pay, this you can swear.

But you had grossly miscalculated Robin's feelings towards his wife.

You knew, you always knew what he did to her, what he set in motion to protect his son against her. Just because the Blue Fairy took away your powers doesn't mean that she took away what fundamentally made you a magical creature. You are connected to those you allowed your dust to bless and forever will be.

When you told Regina that she had ruined her soulmate's life, you never meant it to be about Marian. No, you'd just wanted her to feel the great waste that she made of the potential life she and Robin could have shared together, if only Regina had taken that leap of faith. You lost everything because she chickened out, and now you know more about why she did it but back then? You used to _loathe her_ for what her cowardly retreat cost you, for what you perceived to be stupidity and betrayal.

When Robin finally made his way into the queen's life, you thought that perhaps, things had worked out for the best. That it was the right timing, sanctioned by Fate itself. You were also goddamn relieved because you know, you just know that there are some dangerous, ill-intentioned, _soulless_ and _loveless_ people who would give anything to see Regina's happiness out her reach for eternity.

Ruehl Gorm, naively baptized the Blue Fairy, is one of them.

After you came back from Neverland with the self-appointed heroes of Storybrooke, Regina made a point of relentlessly demanding that Blue gave you your wings back. Only the queen knew the agony you had felt for decades, after Blue took that part of yourself. As a fairy, having your wings stolen was pretty much like walking around with only ten percent of your soul, the ten percent necessary to remember how to talk, to walk, to breathe. You were still a magical creature but without a magical identity, without a family, without a reason to live. Everything you could aspire to be, every dream you could have realized, and any goodness you could have given to the world suddenly became obsolete and even laughable. Blue had made sure that you would be branded as worth less than an outcast. You were suddenly less than nothing. And under Ruehl Gorm's rule, what and who couldn't be used or useful was killed.

So you fled, you fled to one of the very rare places fairies couldn't set a foot in, Peter Pan's living nightmare, a land of black blood and skinny life.

You told your tale to Regina, spitting vitriol and alcoholic tears at her, you cursed her and blamed her and when you were done, you sobbed into her neck and confessed how you missed her because no matter that she wasn't even a fairy and that you hadn't even known her for that long, you still felt connected to her _more deeply_ than with any other of your kin. Before you passed out on her couch, the last thing you remembered of that shameful drunken night was Regina's big brown eyes staring at you as if she had discovered something new and yet familiar.

At the end of it all, you did get your powers back, but not even three days after that, Pan's curse hit the town and you were back in the Enchanted Forest, that wretched place, reminder of your fall from grace, and this time, as Blue coldly let you take back your place among your sisters and inside the fairies' great council, you did your best to conceal how much your experiences in Neverland changed you. Scarred you. Rebuilt you. You were not the same and you didn't make the same mistakes. During the entire missing year you carefully hid your correspondences with Regina and started a real friendship with her. You learned in detail why she was so eager to jump off the balcony you saved her from, and you learned why it was so incredibly unlikely that she would have ever been ready to give herself away to another man, any man, soulmate or not, especially after... the king.

When everyone got swiped away and back to Storybrooke by Snow White's curse, and you found out that Robin Hood was her soulmate and that she was rejecting him again, you did exactly what you promised yourself you wouldn't do: you pushed. You pushed and you pushed until you broke that forsaken wall of hers enough to convince her to finally take that leap of faith. You thought it was the right time, the fated time. You thought that where there's a will, there's always a way, that this time, nothing could go wrong.

But everything did. And now, you cannot cry, you cannot scream, you cannot feel anything except the fierce determination to right your wrong and bring back the only true friend you ever had.

After all, if you don't die doing it, there will be time to punish yourself later.

A shadow falls over you and you raise your head, looking up at Henry, who is holding one of David's arm in a firm grip and extending his other hand towards you. It is not a gesture of forgiveness, for you know he will not forgive the death of his mother to anyone. Ever. It's a demand, an order, a "get up soldier and get ready" so you take the Prince's hand, and you are so grateful, so grateful to have a chance at redemption, a chance to fix this, that you are ready for anything now. You are ready to sin.

* * *

**_-Roland-_ **

You were meant to appear just outside her house. Your papa showed you the way once, walked with you, hand in hand, towards the gorgeous and majestic manor of the Queen, so different from her castle back home but still so much like her. Grand. Elegant. Impressive.

The two of you observed her house for a couple of minutes and you kept prattling on about how beautiful all of it was and how you would love to stay there sometimes, and would Gina mind if you ask? Would she want to sleep with the two of you in her bed? Her bed was big back in the castle, after all. It must have been big here too.

You still remember the amused yet dark chuckle your papa let out at your inquiries. You paid it no mind then but you remember it. You are not angry at him, _you are not_. You know that your papa loves Gina as much as you love her, that he didn't mean to hurt her, just like you didn't mean to either. But you don't understand. He's a grown-up. He should have thought of Gina's heart before he hugged the Marian lady; he should have at least warned her or reassured her or _something_. Anything.

But he shouldn't have let her _go_.

You know now that you can't let Gina go. Ever. She got hurt when you let her go. She got hurt because you let her go. You will never allow her that opportunity again.

Your magic pulses inside your veins and you grimace.

You will have to explain to your papa that it will never be ok to let Gina leave. No matter what. You should… you should warn him.

You feel your magic twirling inside your chest and rolling like thunder waves deep in your guts. You cannot tell if you like it or if it hurts.

You don't understand.

You were meant to appear at her front door; after all, you thought of Henry when you disappeared. Well… not only. You thought of her too, your protector, your mother-to-be, _your_ Queen, and how could she be dead? How could she have just left, without a word, without a glance, without _anything_ , how could she have leave you? You! You are her knight, you are her boy, you are her love and she was supposed to stay, stay, stay, **she should have stayed!**

Her arms, her face, her scent, her smile, her voice, everything hurts and makes you want to scream but at the same time, all of this, all of what she is, all of what she gave you, makes you feel…

Powerful.

You thought of her and you thought of power.

Now you understand.

There is nothing to fear, and very little time.

Your eyes are blue again when you enter the Queen's vault.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	6. Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge. - Part 2

**Hiya y'all.**

**So… here is Chapter 6, following of "** ****Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge"**! (It's a three parts chapter). Thank you so very much for all the people (Some of you I'm very familiar with and fond of) that left reviews! You guys spoiled me rotten with wonderful feedback each chapter… Thank you so much. Y'all gave me the kicks to continue writing and update this story as soon as I can. You are my inspiration, the drive behind my keyboard and I cannot express how grateful I am that you love this story (and Regina) as much as do!**

**And we have new readers too! Some who had just discovered "At Last" and loved it, and review it! Thank you! Please, don't hesitate to share this story, I love the love ^^**

**Now, this chapter was originally very** _**very** _ **long, so, I had to edit it, and then cut it for part 3 where you will FINALLY discovers exactly how Henry planned to bring his mom back, and what will be David's, Tink's and Roland's role in this.**

**Yep, I've teased you long enough… but the relief ain't here yet.**

**In this chapter, Roland has a much more important part, which was requested by a lot of you here, on Tumblr and on AO3. So DimplesQueen and EvilRegals, enjoy this! ^^**

**As I wrote this part 3 is almost done, so I hope to update a little sooner this time! Cheers y'all.**

**Again, I want to thank my beta Galxychld who has been wonderful and corrected all my annoying mistakes ^^ She also wrote a wonderful little piece herself: It's called** **"** **All That Matters"** **and it's an OutlawQueen story, and very much worth reading. Give it a shot y'all, you will like it.**

 **If you haven't already, throw yourself at the wonderful** **letgolaughing** **'s new story** **"Kiss Me"** **it's an EvilCharming fic, of course, but you must know of my guilty pleasure right? It's a delight, like everything she write.**

**Now after those two recommendations, here to the story!**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge. - Part 2**

 

** **

 

 

_-Henry-_

Grief, you decided, did not suit Prince Charming at all. Your grandfather looks like he has aged twenty years in one hour. The lines on his forehead and at the corners of his mouth are more pronounced, and his shoulders are hunched, carrying an invisible weight that very much felt like shame and his eyes are sunken in his face, dull with despair and something harder, darker, something that twisted your intestines and made you avert your gaze for a moment. But only for a moment.

David was the representation of how fucked up things were right now. His facial expression, his red-rimmed eyes, his drying tears, his pinched mouth, the subtle itch in his breathing… all of this felt like a punch in the gut. He was broken _mess_. And you couldn't stop staring. You knew he loved your mother, of course you knew. You knew they had gotten close, very close after that night in the stables. Due to your own damn attitude towards the Queen, you haven't been privy of the details at that time, and to your eternal shame, you never asked. You don't think they would have told you what happened between them anyway, even if you were to ask now. You just knew your grandfather had come to _adore_ Regina and made no secret of it, even after Snow and Emma came back.

 _Especially_ after Snow and Emma came back.

So, yes, you knew David loved Regina very much and wanted to protect her even more, but you did not anticipate this… this intensity. You did not anticipate this madness, this utter destruction of identity or this agonizing prostration you are witnessing now, as he went down and he stayed down on his knees at her bedside, head resting on her stilled chest and barely breathing himself.

For a minute, you are speechless. What can you say to him now? _What can you say?_

But then, then, anger overpowers your every thought, the same familiar anger you experienced before, this blinding hot white rage that made you want tear apart this town, to shatter this world and burn its remains, it's inside you, it's here and pounding gleefully against your ribcage, wanting to get out, out, **out!**

David cannot be broken! What help would he be if he is? What good would he do to your mom? _No!_ He shall wipe off his tears! He shall stand up, stand tall, and harden his heart because those burdening emotions will only weaken his cruelty! And you need him cruel! You need him strong and merciless and _relentless_ and ready to bring your mom back and punish her murderers! You need him with you, you need… you need…

You feel his arms around you before you realize that he had finally stood up and pulled himself together long enough to comfort you.

And God, every inch of you is aware that you do not deserve this compassion, but you will take it anyway. Just for a few seconds.

You bury your face in his chest and your eyes are burning, you want to cry too but what comes out instead is a hoarse, loud and broken scream that tears through David and resonates in the room.

And its echo is mocking you.

* * *

_-Roland-_

The vault of your Queen is so terribly cold. There is a chilling wind and you don't know where it comes from, but everything from the air to the ground is brittle and sharp and freezing, and even your magic cannot completely shield you from the harshness of that wind. Unfortunately, that is not what disturbs you the most. As you step inside, you have to brace yourself to keep your ice cream from coming up your throat, you have to take several deep, measured and controlled breaths and not give in to the temptation to just turn around and run in the other direction.

The vault knows your Queen is dead. You would find this fact ridiculous if it wasn't so staggering.

The second you entered her domain, you felt it, the deprivation, the wrongness, the grief hanging off the air, enhancing a lack of something, something _her_ , something _more_ , and it made you sick. Protection spells, sacred seals and mischievous magical atmosphere… all the things that made this place Gina's... all of it is gone. It was like the world outside was painted in all the right colors, vivid and potent ones, while inside the vault, you stepped into a nothingness. But nothingness was supposed to be empty, right?

Here the space is filled with something heavy, something you cannot define, but it makes you want to curl into a ball and sob your heart out. You feel your breath hitch and your eyes prickle with tears you refuse to let fall. You rub your fists against your eyes and shake your head. No. No. You will not cry, Gina would want you to be strong.

_It's ok to cry, my little knight…_

**No!** It's not ok, it shouldn't be, can't be…but…but… she said that to you once, didn't she? She said it in the Enchanted Forest when your Papa was taken to the healing wing, bloodshot eyes and bloody abdomen, the direct result of a flying monkey trying to ripe his liver out. You were waiting for news, any news, in the long and dark corridor with most of the Merry Men standing next to you, solemn and worried, wanting to comfort you but not really knowing how.

Gregory, one of youngest merry men, one of the meanest, with his twisted smile and bitter beady eyes, always watching when your Papa twirled you around and hugged you and kissed you and called you his world, always hissing something poisonous at you when no one was looking… Gregory stood there too. He stood there and _scorned you_ ; he stood there and told you that crying was useless, and that Papa had no use for _a useless boy_. It just made you cry harder, fearful sobs of shame, of helplessness, of anger making it difficult for you to breathe and to think.

You remember the merry men falling silent as a shadow suddenly covered yours, and a sweet, spicy and intoxicating perfume, apple, cinnamon and sulfur enveloped you at the same moment her arms did. She picked you up and your short legs just locked themselves around her hips, one of her arms supporting you with strength and confidence while the other settled against your back, her hand gently pressing your head on her bosom. The two of you just breathed together for what felt like hours. It was perfect, it was everything, it was love and she reminded you of your Papa so much, _so much_ , that you could do nothing but love her madly and desire her arms around you forever. You wanted her to be your mother _so hard._

Face buried in the fabric covering her chest and as enamored as you were, you never noticed the terrified and unsettled silence that washed over the hall, neither did you noticed that at the sight of the Queen, Gregory had willfully fallen on his knees, cleverly silencing his poisonous tongue, his eyes wide open and pleading and his arms opened and stretched, as if he was waiting for a divine blessing… or an executioner's axe.

You don't know what Gina did to him. Nobody told you. But when your Papa was up and about again, when the Merry Men whispered Gregory's fate to him, some with satisfaction, others with wariness, he went to confront the Queen and you followed him and spied on them. You did this for her. You didn't think Papa would yell at her because he was a gentleman, he had honor and he always told you to be nice to the ladies and Gina was more than just a lady, she was a Queen but… you just wanted to be sure he would not upset her, he might have been angry about whatever she did to Gregory after all. As far as you were concerned however, it was nothing but good riddance.

Hidden behind the drapes of one of those heavy tapestries, you had been pleasantly surprised to discover that your papa had not been angry at all. But you had been startled by the way he was with Gina when he thought not one was watching…

* * *

_Arms braced against the wall he had backed her up against, your Papa had just rested his hands on either side of her face, and smirked down at her while she stared back impassively, her own arms crossed against her chest._

_"Is he gone for good?" he said with a predatory voice and roaming eyes._

_She scowled at him, her full lips pressed tightly against one another._

_"Are you afraid to miss him?" she replied with scorn and derision._

_"No, milady. Quite the contrary, after all,_ _**I have no use for a useless man** _ _in my merry corps."_

She had blinked at that and so did you. You knew your papa had been furious at what Gregory said to you, but you haven't comprehended how much. There was a deep-rooted hatred in his voice and a sense of incoming danger surrounding him. Instead of being scared of it, you found it endearing and obviously, so did Gina…

_"Should you be so satisfied?" she purred with a dark smile, "Would you not hear his pleading screams and smell his blood on my skin? He was only twenty. And one of yours."_

_"A twenty-year-old man who made my four-year-old boy_ _**cry** _ _, made him feel ashamed and scared. Nothing but coward and bigot who_ _**hurt** _ _my son."_

_Four and half, you thought, a little dazzled._

_Gina's expression became unreadable as she stared deep in your papa's eyes._

_"So it's like that."_

_"Yes, yes it is like that milady. And what is mine doesn't hurt my son. So thank you for cleaning up my mess."_

_Her stance broke then and she rolled her eyes, huffing under her breath._

_"Don't make a habit of leaving a mess to clean again, thief! I'm not your maid. Or your hellhound."_

_For a fleeting second, something terrible passed over your Papa's features but it was gone so quickly you thought that perhaps you have imagined it. Suddenly he chuckled, a deep and warm sound tingled with darkness, and then quicker than lightening, he pressed a kiss against the underline of your Queen's jaw and his mouth stayed there, then drifted down, nestling her neck as she let her head dropped lazily against the wall. He mouthed against her skin:_

_"Indeed your majesty, you are neither of those things. What you are is a mother, a mother who cradled my boy against her body and offered him comfort when he needed it the most._ _**Tis was my flesh and blood** _ _you embraced and soothed against your breast,_ _**tis was tears falling for me** _ _that you wipe so tenderly, milady… how should I thank you? What is to be your reward?"_

_You watched, bewildered, as Gina's face became flushed and her breathing grew uncontrolled, your Papa's hands left the wall and buried themselves between the two of them but you could not see exactly where. She suddenly arched her back and her mouth opened in a silent oh, eyes glazed over and unfocused. You did not understood what they were doing but you were almost sure your Papa was not hurting her. He made a strange growling sound and you grimaced. Grown-ups were so weird._

_Brusquely, your Queen grabbed Papa's head and yanked it up, forcing him to look her in the eyes._

_"I need no… no reward… to be what Roland needs me to be… I love him…" Gina managed to let out, strangely out of breath._

_You and Papa froze._

_Your breath caught in your throat. She…_

_Your Papa disentangled himself from her slowly, his eyes drilling into hers, as if he was trying to see inside her soul. However, all you could feel was exaltation._

_She loved you! She said so! She loved you. She loved you, she loved you, and she loved you!_

_Your Papa was about to say something when you sprinted out of your hiding place and ran towards them, towards Gina, towards your future mom. She was yours now, she loved you,_ _**she was yours!** _

_"Gina!"_

_You could see her eyes widening in surprise at your sudden presence and you heard your Papa calling your name in a somewhat exasperated tone, but none of that stopped Gina from catching you easily when you lunged yourself at her._

_You withdrew your head from her neck long enough to say "I love you too" and plant a kiss on her lips, a gesture of featly, of utter devotion, of pledge and you didn't know it yet, but it was that precise moment, that acknowledged pure and untainted love between the two of you that would make you the only one able to give your dead Queen, your dead mother, the ability to breathe again._

* * *

Shaking off that memory is as hard as shaking off your tears but as you're doing it, it's suddenly easier to listen to what your magic has been whispering to you since it woke up at the diner.

Because the vault is now empty of Regina's essence, you can clearly define what her magic was concealing while she was alive. The vault is full of different sources and kinds of power. Your eye caught sight of some sort of a shield first, round, golden and large, with a weird drawing on its front, sitting in the corner, and it's _humming_ at you. You don't know what it does, and what secret it hold, and you really, really want to find out, but your magic is completely adamant; that thing is not the power you are looking for, it is not what will help your Queen.

There are diamonds, rubies, and topaz, shiny and sparkly things catching your eyes and casting strange glows on the stone walls. Those make your hands itch and your eyes twinkle, you are your thief of a father's son, after all. All around the place stands black armor with dried blood on them, tall and imposing, terrifying, and you have the eerie feeling they were meant to move by themselves, with no need of the weak flesh of some soldier to guide them and craving only the blood of their victim as a requirement for setting worlds ablaze.

There are dozens of safe, some are exulting fumes, some are humming like the shield and some are moving rather ominously. There are shadows but no figure casting them, there are strange and threatening objects, sharp, concave and vicious as well as vials with enchanting and breathtaking colors, scents and texture inside them. Everything is incredible, dangerous, fascinating and would probably worth more gold than you could gather in your lifespan, but nothing in you can really enjoy all of this while Gina is still dead.

Your magic is impatient, pushing you to go deeper inside the corridors of the vault, and it's a bloody labyrinth and why would Gina needs all this space? Still, even if it feels like you've been walking for hours and passed so many rooms filled with unimaginable treasures, you continue. You don't stop, you can't stop, you walk, you walk and you walk and your magic is taking over your body more and more until you don't know where you are but the air and the walls are colder than there were before, and you abruptly realize that now you can hear another set of feet, another person breathing, and some angry shuffling. You turn to your left and entered a very large room, one that looks exactly like the purple bower in your Queen's castle, a place you weren't allow to go without your Papa, a place full of potions bottles and ancient items, powerful items, never for you to touch of course, but available for being panted after. The purple bower was definitely a place Gina enjoyed flaunting in your Papa's face, every time he would boast about his most dangerous thieveries and raids.

And now this place is a mess.

Books are scattered all over the floors, most of the potions have been carelessly spilt on things they have no business being spilt on, strange objects have been thrown or discarded all around the room and in the middle of this intolerable chaos, a woman is standing, her back facing you, half hunched above a very imposing and very ancient chest of drawers, some ripped off their sheaths, others widely hung open and she is murmuring angrily under her breath, and it's a short breath, a pained breath and one _you will choke out of her._

"How… dare… **YOU! IT'S MY MAMA'S ROOM**!"

And your magic _explodes_. It's coming out your throat like lava from an erupted volcano. The room shakes with it, the air shivers away from it and you do not sound like the little boy you are, you sound like a giant, you sound like a god, you are wrathful, you are murderous, you're seeing red and your power is howling with your voice, _it is_ your voice, it's your rage, it's your indignation and nothing seems to stop the terrible onslaught of it, and it's hot, it's so hot, it's burning and scorching the walls and the floor and everything around you, it's an inferno, it's hell and should you burn with it, so will she, _so will she._

The woman turns around slowly, and you observe her as she muscles down her flinch from the hellish heat that you are right now. She faces you and you find yourself staring at cold, cruel and calculating blue eyes. She's a killer. You just know it. Her features are refined, too refined, a delicate drawing of tasteless perfection scarred in granite and porcelain. Her blond hair is styled in a ruffled and long braid, a weird mix of sophistication and wildness. It's nobility you see in her face, like you've seen in other nobles, but different, empty, cold. She's wearing a clear blue dress that hugs her body tight and the only change in that long patch of sickening blue color, is the red of her blood, slowly dripping out of her right side, where someone must have stabbed her quite violently.

 _Good_. She probably deserved it.

You take a step towards her and she smiles sinisterly.

"Such a rude little boy," she says, and her voice is a drawl of cyanide and snow, carrying a sense of hardness, of hardship and suffering. "Didn't that mama of yours teach you to kneel before a queen?"

 _Oh_ , if you were not certain whether to kill her or not before, you definitely are now.

"False queen!" you spit at her, enraged. "Mama is the only queen in Storybrooke, she's the only queen _ever_ and you have no right to be here! If you leave right now and _put that bottle back_ , I won't have to kill you. I'll just hurt you."

You tried to sound as magnanimous as possible but your magic is craving blood and your eyes are drawn to that bottle she's clutching in her thieving hold and it's a beautiful work of art, covered in runes and filled with a very enticing and strange liquid. It's so tempting, you can't look away. From where you stand, it's almost likes liquid mother-of-pearl, and it swirls lazily in the bottle, pearl and silver and pink, and there is something there, something more, a pattern you can almost see behind your eyelids….

Your magic is nagging your brain, scratching behind your eyes and making the hair at the back of your neck stand for attention. It's an irritated nudge, and you are torn between your need to take that bottle back, tear the false queen apart, and… and…something else… that something more…

Oh God.

This is it. You found it. What your power was calling for, what your magic was craving for, what your heart was praying for.

You found your way to get her back.

Your eyes turn blue again and you gather your magic around you like armor and it's hardening your skin, sharpening your nails and poisoning your blood. You are deadly now. Nothing can touch you. Nothing will stop you. You can sense it, it's near. You will get that object and bring it to Henry, to Gina.

The woman snarls at you, her cold eyes fixed on you, now equally hateful, and she too gather her magic around her and it's like a spear made of glass and ice and grief and she means to pierce you with it.

You giggle.

_Ooooh, and you will get that bottle too._

She's bracing herself.

You are ready.

* * *

_Thoughts ?_


	7. Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge – Part 3

** Chapter Seven: Exsanguination, Stardust and Pledge – Part 3 **

**A/N: After a very long wait and without further ado, here is chapter seven. See you all at the end of. Enjoy.**

 

_ _

* * *

 

 

_\---Henry---_

The manor is much more than what people think. From an outside view of it, you could probably guess the right number of its room and imagine their largeness with accuracy; however, the reality is entirely different. Once the curse was broken and depending on her mood, your mom did not feel the need to hide her abilities or minimize her comfort to spare your loathsome ego. She used to change the size of several rooms to her own pleasure and add a couple of them when she needed space.

During that period when you barely spoke to her, while she was left alone and in pain, you have been told that she created a huge room just besides your own bedroom and spend several hours systematically destroying everything inside it. Magical copies of your toys, of your books, of your clothes, of your old baby's items… she burned everything and almost burned herself too, standing in the mist of her disastrous rage, and sobbing her bleeding heart out.

It was David who used to pull her out of it every time she did something like that, every time you hurt her which automatically triggered her need to hurt herself.

It was also David who viciously hissed those hurtful facts at you, who refused to hide the consequences of your behavior, unlike so many others, who was so done with your self-righteousness, so done with your arrogance, and so done with sparing your feelings that he _shattered you down_ so you could do nothing but stare at the face of the awful, ungrateful and self-centered boy you had become.

You still shiver when you think about that night. About what he did. About what he said. But as much as this memory will forever make your soul ache and your shame burns, you cannot help but being grateful for it.

You owe your grandfather a lot. Without his strength, his clarity and, oddly enough, his brutality, you would have kept hurting your mom. You would have never been redeemed…

This is why his role in reviving The Queen will be the most glorious one, the most absolute one too, with no way back from it. Ever. But you already know he will say yes. You may not know everything about their relationship, but you really think he's actually been craving something like this for a while now. And frankly, you cannot think of anyone better to fulfill that role.

The three of you are sitting around your mom's huge oval table in the library, the biggest room in the house, at least currently. David and Tinkerbell are on each side of you and while the fairy seems restless, squirming around in her seat, her eyes darting up to the ceiling, undoubtedly visualizing your dead mother in her bed, David is like marble statue, his granite gaze fixed on the bare table and his jaw clenched tightly.

That gaze makes you almost feel sorry for Robin. Almost.

You put your right hand on the table and let your magic conjure all the research papers, books, items and vials you will need. The abrupt fill of the empty surface has David blinking lazily at it, his gaze gradually more aware and shifting from the table to Tinkerbell who has finally stilled, and then coming back to you, questioning.

You take a deep breath. What you are about to say to them will not only change their future but also reveal some of your mother's most important life work. But you cannot afford to protect her privacy now, not at the cost of her life.

"I was never supposed to come into my magical inherence," you murmur, but somehow that soft whisper manages to find its sibilant echo and reverberate against the walls, and both David's and Tink's brows furrowed in confusion.

"I was born with magic of course, I share blood with the savior after all," you continue somewhat bitterly "But I wasn't a child of true love, so my powers were never supposed to be as strong as hers. They weren't designed to wake up one day; in fact, they would have stayed dormant forever, had I not shared blood with Rumpelstiltskin too.

"You see, my grandfather-my other grandfather-was not born with magic, he was just your everyday coward. He took the power of the Dark One by force, the only way one can…through murder. His magic is strong because of that action, because of the meaning it contains. It's stronger than the simple magic emanating from being born out of True Love, because Magic in this universe has _perceptions_ and _rules_ and put more view and meaning in a sacrifice than in natural event. What is painful and absolute will always create more magical power than what is joyful and short-lived. And whether we like to admit it or not, a birth is short-lived, same as a life, and we are all born to _die_. A True Love is short-lived; it only stands strong during the lifespan of those who love, and in some cases not even then…sometimes it can wither and die long before that… as you well know." You finish softly, looking at David as you say this, your eyes holding an apology.

Your grandfather's face stays the same as he nods to acknowledge your words and your discomfort, and Tinkerbell does not seem surprised by those explanations at all. She was well versed in the laws and symbols in magic. Good, you think. You will need her expertise. But David needed to know this; he needed to know all of it. This heritage will soon become his. Bracing yourself, you continue.

"Before he became the Dark One, Rumple had no magic in his blood, no magic in his heart and no magic in his soul, for once you unite yourself with that forsaken dagger, it takes hold of those three things, make no mistakes about that. Before he became what he is now, he had no power to pass onto my father, to pass onto me. And Baelfire was ordinary too; he did not inherit a magical blood, as he was born before it existed. So, why did I?"

Tinkerbell already knows but you see that she understands why you need to do this, what you are trying to ease David into. She looks a little pale though and you smile mirthlessly. Oh, when she will be aware of what you will do to her in order to resurrect your mom, she won't be sparing the man another thought.

David does not miss Tink's expression or your sardonic smile, but he remains calm as he cocks his head thoughtfully and responds to you.

"Regina told me once that Magic is like the most inquisitive and penetrative toxin in the world. She said it is never people who are around Magic but Magic that is around people. She described it like… like some sort of group of molecules that would imprint on you, infiltrate themselves in your skin, running fervently in your blood and testing the beating of your heart just to see if you have the potential to _take it_. The potential to be more, to be magical. So… I can only assume that… when Rumpelstiltskin became the Dark One, the few years Bae spent by his side affected him in some way… and that he passed along a potential he never knew he had to… you."

You smile slowly, satisfyingly, and let out an impressed chuckle. David watches every single of your reaction with a frozen intensity, his expression never giving anything away. Tink stays silent.

"Well Gramps... your assumptions are correct. All of them."

David lets out a sight and leans back in his chair, his burdened eyes on you and a soft frown marring his face.

"What will happen when she wakes up?"

You frown and shake your head slightly, unsure of what he is asking. He rephrases.

"How far will you go?"

"As far as I _need_ to." Your reply and your tone leaves no doubt of your conviction, of your commitment. Bringing your mom back is the ultimate beginning of something _grand_ , something unstoppable. You need to do this; she needs you to do this. People have always hurt your mother somehow, always. For all her strength, you are fed-up to see how easily people hurt her. But she is still perfection and you will not change her. However, if you cannot change her, then it is the people, all of Storybook's inhabitants, that you need to reshape.

You force what you think is an inoffensive expression on your face and you smile.

"I'm not dangerous."

David scoffs, shaking his head, and then waves his hand in an irritated gesture.

"Liar…you are lucky I cannot bring myself to care. I just want Regina back, I want her alive and I want her happy. That is my goal, which is what I am going to dedicate myself for the next couple of months or years, however long it takes us to get there. That and raising my son. You can have the town Henry; you can take that retribution you crave for. But you will not kill Emma. Otherwise, do as you wish, but do not kill her."

Your parody of a smile falters and then freezes on your face.

"I had no intention of killing anyone."

Your grandfather's expression twists in a macabre amusement, even as his eyes hold a warning. The corners of his mouth pull up in cruel smile as he repeats darkly:

_"Liar."_

You snarl at him, enraged that he would deny you your justice, that he would deny you anything.

"Would you see her go free? Unharmed? Unpunished? After what she has done to my mom? To you? **To me!?** Are you protecting her from the consequences of her actions still? Do you..."

David cuts off your bitter rant by slamming his fist hard on the guaiacum wood of the table. Standing up abruptly, he roars, **"This isn't about me! Or you! Or Emma! It's about waking up your mother to a world she will be able to bear! A world where you did not commit matricide! A world where you do not have family blood on your hands! A world where she wouldn't be reminded every day that her child killed his mother as she did her father!"**

His voice echoes through the room and the truth in it viciously tears apart your murderous thoughts. Tink flinches from it, disagrees with it, and she's shaking her head, probably plotting for another way to take down Emma, but you face David dead on, unwilling to back down just yet. You will not relinquish that right, until he gives you a better alternative. The man takes a deep breath and regains his frigid calm, his blue eyes piercing you thoroughly.

"Emma is my daughter, and that will never change but she is beyond protection now. What good would it be to anyone if I just shield her from the consequences of her actions? What will happen when she does something like this again? You said it yourself; _Neal can die because of her!_ So **no**! I stopped excusing her behavior a long time ago! I stopped justifying her arrogance and carelessness after she and Snow came back from the Enchanted Forest! I tried to make her change! I thought you knew that!"

And his disappointed, hurt tone sobers you up far more than his anger. You did know that. You know that very well.

"I'm sorry," you murmur and it's a soft, guilty whisper, because you cannot blame David for anything, not when he had honored your mother with love, patience and care during all those times you wouldn't.

David nods sharply, then lets out a strange noise, something between a sight and a growl before he sits back down slowly, his somber gaze now fixed on a point above your shoulder, and once again, your shame burns brightly. You have hurt his feelings, God, you never _learn_.

You are exactly like Emma. You do not want to be though. You do not want to be, you do not want to be!

As if he was hearing your thoughts, David shakes his head again, this time wryly, and his next scowling is somewhat ruined by his softening tone.

"Your anger burns bright and you have an awful temper, you little brat. But it doesn't make you anything less than your mother's son. And I'm not talking about Emma."

You offer your grandfather a fragile smile and a wet glance and you incline your head, grateful for his undying faith and his sincerity. You are so relieved to still have someone left in this world who knows you enough to appease your sorrows with just a couple of words that you don't know how to reply.

David senses this and grins at you, all hurt forgotten, and his next words make you love him even more.

"Just because I expect you to spare Emma from Death, doesn't mean I expect you to spare her from justice. Just because I don't want her to die doesn't mean that I don't want her to live to sorely regret her actions."

He leans forward and his voice takes on a soft, slow and chilling quality that automatically makes you smirk and makes Tinkerbell shiver in delight.

" _And_ just because I don't expect your punishment to be unfair, doesn't mean I don't expect it to be… _creative_."

He observes you a moment longer, letting the weight of his words settle in your brain and fill your veins with a renewed sense of want, of satisfaction. Emma will not know what is coming for her.

David nods once again and simply says:

"You'll do what's right."

"Oh I will," you singsong, and you can hardly wait to see everyone's face when they discover the exact price they will have to pay for hurting your mother. Tinkerbell clears her throat and sends you an impatient look, unwilling to wait any longer.

"Henry, how exactly can we help you resurrect Regina? What do you need from us?" she asks, and this is it.

There is no going back. They love your mom. They love her, _they love her_ , and they will do this for her, you have to believe that, you have to believe in them, you repeat those words in your head. It's a desperate mantra scratching its nails inside your skull and your tongue suddenly turned to lead and your throat feels constricted.

_Oh, please God, please… let them be willing, do not make me force them..._

_"Henry."_

You take a shuddering breath and your voice is hoarse when you finally reply:

"I need you to bleed, David. And _you_ , Tinkerbell… I need you to _ascend_."

David blinks slowly and Tinkerbell's body freezes, her mouth open in a shocked, silent denial because those words and what they imply about her will change her existence forever.

Suddenly all you want to explain almost rushes out of your mouth because you are scared, you are so scared, too many people have disappointed you already and you can't take that chance with them, you need to make them understand how important this is, how crucial those steps are to bring back your mom, and it's making you panic. You take several deep breath and your hands are trembling as you lay them on the table. The prince and the fairy observe you, bewildered.

"Creation…" you start with difficulty and _damn it_ , you will not _cry_! "Creation takes so much work, it takes meaning and suffering and… and sacrifices."

"Mom is dead when she really shouldn't be. It is not her time, she definitely has a role and a place in all of our future, she still crucial to our world, to our people, and to magic. She has so many things to fulfill… so many things to experiment and to live for… but Fate is a bitch; it has always been a bitch to her. You two know that. And Death… while it views my mom as a favorite, one of its best merchants, Death doesn't break its own rules, ever. Unless someone screwed them up first."

"We only have _one_ shot. Magic and Death love my mom and it is the only reason I am able to bring her back. When I opened my eyes and I saw her on that bed, I could see their runes on her skin. Even if she is not here anymore, she is not totally gone. Don't get me wrong, she _is_ dead, but Magic defines what's dead and what's alive very differently than us."

Tinkerbell's eyes widen, as she finally realizes what you mean to ask them. David swallows once and whispers,

"How so?"

You avert your gaze as you respond.

"For humans, being alive means breathing, standing, moving, talking, laughing and fucking… all the things the body does as it's burning its way through life and towards Death."

Your lips tremble and you meet your allies' gazes dead on.

"But for Mother Magic… Being alive is the thrilling folly of what the universe wrought, it's the result of what has been created without her, by everything around her, by everything _less than her_ , and despite our flaws and mediocrity, despite our cruelty and greed, despite our sins and fears… she can't help but be fascinated. Therefore, she chooses some of us, blesses and curses us with her essence and suddenly we are alive by _her_ standards, from five magical criteria… Blood, Essence, Breath, Heart and Anchor."

David inhales sharply and looks at you, really looks at you, unwilling at ask first but letting out the dreadful words past his lips all the same.

"You need me to _bleed_?"

"You are of magical blood."

"That's… that's not true! I have no magic… Henry, I'm just me!"

You are leaning towards him, your hands outstretched, your eyes wet and your breath hitching and he's shaking his head, leaning back, overwhelmed, not saying no, but _not saying yes_.

"Gramps… _Gramps_ … Emma's magic, _Neal's_ magic… it never came from Snow; it was never from her wretched side of this family… she does not have an ounce of magic inside of her. Your children inherited their magical blood from you, from your father, from your grandfather, from your great-grandfather… Gramps, do you know how rare twins were in the Enchanted Forest? Yours and James's births were such powerful event that the Dark One himself took notice of it! The last time a woman birthed more than one child at a time, she had the ability to turn into a bear! Snow might have been favored by Fate but you… _you are magical_."

And it is David's undoing, the blow that makes him bend forward and gasp for air and grip his hair hard enough to hurt because this? _This_ is the re-opening and cauterizing of a very old wound, one that was forever bleeding, one inflicted by Snow many years ago, when she decided that David had to sacrifice everything, _everything_ for her destiny and in reward of her love, as she slowly but surely poisoned into him the conviction that she was _simply and naturally and_ **_magically more than him,_** that her life, her needs and her dreams were always the _right_ ones, the _good_ ones, and had to be accomplished because she was _special_ , born for the greater good, loved by the fairies, loved by the kingdom, loved by all.

And so what was left to do for David but to fade into Prince Charming?

He's crying now and you feel _so sorry_ for him.

You watch as once again, he pulled strength from somewhere and slowly composes himself. He wipes off the tears from his cheeks and straightens, heartbroken, but not broken. Your heart twinges. At least, you know he will have your mother to help him get through this. At least, she will make him feel proud of this, proud of himself. At least she will be here to teach him how to live for himself again.

"Blood...Anchor, Essence, Heart and Breath… You mean to rebuild her, don't you? Not… not remake her, for you wouldn't want to change a thing about her, but... revive her via magic? Through those five things? Will she be herself? Will she be complete? Will she be different?" His eyes plead for you to confirm that she will not change, that the woman you all love will still be herself.

"She will be everything you always knew her to be and she will be whole," you assure him, but you can see that he's dissecting your every word, trying to find a hidden catch in them, "and she will also be more. It's like finding every intrinsic and hidden lock there is in her body and unlocking every single one of them, letting flow her true potential through. She will be _all she can possibly be_. She will be strong and she will be new but still her. _I promise_."

David nods weakly and Tinkerbell is still frozen, unable to speak.

"So, that's why you need us. You need magical beings to bring her back to life. You want to… to refuel her? With those five sources of power?"

"Sources of _life_ , Gramps. And yes."

"And… I'm… I'm the blood that will run through her veins, aren't I?"

"Yes."

" … You need an exsanguination."

_Clever, clever man._

"Yes…" you murmur again and your eyes never leave his, and you can see he's scared, and that's good you think, he's clever, only a fool would not be scared in his place, but you can also see that every word of love and devotion he had spoken about your mother are true, because as scared as he is right now, there is no doubt that he will still do it. It's written all over his face. He's completely willing to bleed out for her.

It's a sweet surrender.

But it is not _enough_.

Sure, he will do it because he loves her and you can see that he believes he will die for it, but that is not the case, and while his life is not required in this particular ritual, his utter willfulness and gratitude are.

You do not just need him to bleed out for your mom. _You need him to want it just as bad as you do._

There cannot be a single doubt or reservations about it, you need him eager and you know just the way to ensure he is.

" _Gramps_ ," you purr with an enthralling tone and you are not at all undeterred by the unimpressed look he sends you for it, "it can only be you. I don't trust anyone else to fill that place in her life."

"That place?" he repeats and you can see he has not made the connection yet and you do not know whether to laugh or cry.

"You won't die through the exsanguination; I'll make sure of it. That means you will be alive to reap its benefits."

"What are you...?"

"Don't you get it?" you cut him off impatiently "Half of your _blood_ will run through her veins, along with your magic. My mom is going to become **your sister.** You two will be **siblings, magical siblings** at that! You are going to be a part of her _that no one else is_ , and the damn best blood relative she ever had! In that way, she is going to be truly yours now!"

It is as if a goddamn switch has been lifted. Except that it doesn't brings the cold clarity of the light, no, it brings the absolution of shadows, where your darkest desires are kept hidden and your worst sins are always forgiven. It brings a cocoon of comfort, filled with smoke, barely covering what you had stared to suspect about your mother and David, suspected but never confirmed.

 _So it's like that_ , you think and you are delighted, relieved, amused…

And very curious.

You watch as David's eyes progressively changes. Out of their clear blue color, only the darker shades of it are visible now, and it's a strange color, it looks like they are reflecting the deepest and abyssal level of an ocean, it looks like they swallowing all light and pulling something vital from you, something that echoes their hypnotic quality and _oh, it's David's magic_ , and it's the first time anyone ever catches a glimpse of it. You are fascinated.

Before you have the time to comment on it, David's low and dark chuckle resounds through the room.

"You're a little too observant for your own good, Henry."

His tone is light. The magical aura growing around him is not.

Tinkerbell is also looking at David closely, and despite her apprehension at what will happen to her, she cannot help but being as curious as you are about the shepherd and the Queen's relationship.

But David won't give the two of you an inch. You are certain he will not tell you what you want to know and you believe it is not about punishing you for how you have acted after the curse broke, not anymore. It is not about a lack of trust either; the two of you came too far for that.

Whatever happened between him and your mom must be something _she_ truly does not want you to know for him to be that protective.

Fine. You will not push.

For now.

The art of subtlety visibly eludes Tinkerbell and she leans forward, brows furrowed and tone uncertain.

"Did you and Regina sleep together? Because the magical exsanguination will not work if you did."

You freeze and a dreadful feeling settles inside your chest. Oh God, it never even occurred to you that they could have… no. No, no, _no!_ You did not get that vibe from them, before you fell into Neverland… but an entire year had passed while you were separated from her and you do not know… but **no** , there is Robin, as pitiful and wretched of a soulmate he is, you know she fell in love with him before the curse brought everyone back in Storybrooke. Your mom takes time to truly love but once she does, she cannot ever let it go, even in pain. Even in hatred… and… and David had Neal with Snow.

Except that you know something _terrible_ happened here. You know damn well that David was not ready or willing to have another child with Snow until he could forgive her and rebuilt his trust towards her… nobody told you what she did though and you meant to ask your mom after the dinner at Granny, before… well before.

Still, they could not have… oh please, _please_ ….

David is unamused by the fairy's inquiries and sends her a chilling look.

"Yes," he replies, and just like that, your world is abruptly crashing around you and you choke on your breath, looking at your grandfather with something akin to horror and disbelief when he then continues, exasperated,

"But not in that way!" _Oh, thank God!_ you think wildly. David continues doggedly. "We never had sex. I don't want her that way."

Both you and Tinkerbell's eyes widen at his slip.

"But you _do_ want her."

David is now looking at the two of you with a furious warning in his eyes but as much as you want this conversation to end, you need to be sure. _There cannot be a single doubt or reservations._ You take a deep breath.

"Look, I get that you won't talk about what happened between you and my mom after Daniel came back. But I need to know that you really don't want her that way, Gramps. The Exsanguination… Tink is right; it will not work if you have even an ounce of lust for her. I will need exactly half of your blood, while I bleed out half of hers…. Your blood will be transferred into her veins and that is _irreversible_. It's _forever_ , there is no going back once it is done, you understand? The bond between the two of you will be unbreakable, and you will adore her, cherish her and protect her as if she was your twin. Your own feelings will play a huge part of how strong that bond will be… Do you want this? Can you do this?"

David was shaking his head during your desperate speech and now he is looking at you and Tinkerbell as if he doubted your intellectual capacities.

"How can I not?" he replied hoarsely, and his expression goes from exasperated to intense, and you can feel the tension in his frame, you can hear the conviction in his voice and you can see the want in his eyes. "I'm not going to tell the two of you what occurred between me and Regina. I will not tell anyone, ever. It is between her and I and it's personal. **But listen to my words and look into my eyes,** Henry. I feel no lust for her, I can't. She's beyond that in my eyes. She means too much to me to just ruin it with sex. And, _yes_ , she is gorgeous and no, I'm not _blind_ to it. Make no mistake, had I wanted her that way, I would have stopped at nothing to have her, but that's not the case! Just because I was and still am… unattached, just because Snow stabbed me in the back thrice now, just because she destroyed our love does not mean that I would use your mother to quench any urges I had. Revenge or else."

He takes a deep breath with you hanging on his every word. This part of his story is still foreign to you, because before your kidnapping, you and your grandfather's relationship was still fragile and after that… well, you had to play house with Emma for a whole cursed year.

"Regina and I have been intimate," he continues with a low and controlled voice. "But not in a sexual way. I found her in a very vulnerable and dark place, I found her unable to put on her armor and her mask, so I use that to my advantage. I fought my way through her, I went through war against her pain, her demons, her agony, her insanity and I did bleed for her! I did! And I tore her apart! Once she could no longer fight me, once she was stripped of _everything_ , I looked! She didn't want me too but I looked at her and I _saw_ her, and I _learned_ her and eventually I knew her, because she was me, and I was her and she had me stripped down to the bones too, she had me flayed open, and we were bleeding the same light, and I hadn't even noticed! I was so desperate to unmake and so determined to learn how she was made that I never noticed I had destroyed myself in the process! But she rebuilt me! She healed me by allowing me to help her, to take care of her, to protect her!"

You close your eyes tight to prevent any tears from falling down and Tinkerbell chokes down a sob, her hands clenching the hem of her shirt, and her frame trembling with a barely suppressed grief. It is hard to hear how broken your mom was even when it is paired by how much loved she had been. You won't ever be able to repay David for this.

"I love her! I love her beyond words! Sometimes, I want to put her in bubble and never let her face the world because the only thing the world has been doing is hurting her at every turn! Sometimes, I want to lock her up inside of me so I can keep her safe and warm and loved and _untouchable_ and healing! And after everything that we did to each other and everything we went through together, it took such a fucking long time for the both of us to accept the way I feel about her! _You have no idea!_ So don't ever question my commitment to this again, both of you! Understood?"

Tinkerbell nods hastily, her remorseful green eyes fixed on David, and you bow down your head to your grandfather in a sign of respect and sorrow, yes, but also in a careful gesture of concealment.

Victory is so _sweet_.

With David's blood inside her veins, with his magic pumping all that _love_ , all that veneration, all that abnegation inside of her, she will be a Goddess. She will be unstoppable.

"Neal is lucky to have you as his father, Gramps."

David blinks, taken aback, then he opens his mouth but no word comes out. A couple of seconds passed and he settles for a shy smile, and it's a little doubtful and a little broken and seeing him like this, blind to his own incredible worth, so uncertain and tentative of himself, makes you empathize with the Evil Queen and her quest to destroy Snow White. It makes you understand how someone can hate someone else that much.

Tinkerbell's deep inhalation brings you back to the task at hand and both you and David twist on your sits to look at her, while she's visibly trying to calm her nerves.

"So… You have five steps to fulfill, and I assume three more people to bring into this, and we are running out of time. Anchor, Breath, Heart, Essence and Blood… We established that David will be Regina's new blood and you simply have no choice for the anchor, and it has to be Robin…" she says, and David's left eye twitches while you barely contain your snarl.

She ignores all of that and continues, pale and determined.

"I don't like it any more than you do. I never could have foreseen Emma's screwing things up the way she did, but Robin's reaction… I should have seen that. There are things that you don't know about that man… about his past, about his darkness. I should have dealt with some of those things sooner. Or at least warned Regina."

From the corner of your eyes, you can see David's angry frown turn into a confused one and you cannot help but echo it. What is Tinkerbell talking about?

She stopped any attempt of questioning by one sentence.

"Regina should be the first and only one to know about this."

You purse your lips and David sends Tinkerbell a piercing look. She holds both of your gazes without flinching and that more than anything else, convinces the two of you to back off, at least for a while. Your grandfather makes a nonchalant and very sarcastic gesture with his hand, allowing the fairy to change the subject.

Tink blow out a relieved sight before she turns to look at you, once again fearful but no longer in denial.

"You said you needed me to ascend… That is implying that I'm more than a fairy, more than what I have _always_ been, more than what Blue ripped out of me. And that is **not** the case. I would know it, I lived thrice longer than your mother, Henry, and while I'm considered young for a fairy, I'm no novice. I would know if I was… if I was _that_ , right?"

You suddenly find it very difficult to look at the woman in the eyes and basically blow up her whole world. Damn, your mom would have been better at this, she should have been the one to break the news to Tinkerbell. And she had planned to do it too. But Tink is right; you are running out of time. No matter how you say it, she still going to get hurt. Lies do that. You know it all too well.

"Tink…" you start and your voice is softer than it has been during this whole forsaken night but Tink reacts to it as if you have screamed and she flinches hard and she is starting to shake her head.

"No. _No_."

"Tink, I'm sorry, I'm sorry but you are not… you are not a fairy. Or at least you weren't born a fairy…"

" **No!** Don't! Shut up!"

"Tinkerbell…" David calls softly, trying to calm her down, and his brows furrow and his darkened blue eyes are warily following the waves of wild magic coming from the woman, and he doesn't realize that he's doing something he has never done before; he doesn't realize that his own magic is awakening.

"Don't!" Tink roars and stands up abruptly, knocking off her chair into the ground. Her fists are clenched and her eyes are full of angry tears she doesn't even try to hold back. She already knows you are telling the truth, but it's a truth she would have gladly ignored until the day she died. It's a truth that will help no one but your mom, a truth that is going to make her life so much harder and painful…

If she were to hate you for this, it would be her full right.

You cannot blame her. You are gladly ruining her entire existence to save your mother's and while you are sorry she has to get hurt, you know you would do it again and worse, in a heartbeat, if you had to.

Still, just because you are incapable of feeling any regrets doesn't mean you cannot feel the bite of remorse.

"Tink…" you try again and she's trembling with a fury that's starting to become bigger than she is, her magic is erratic and of sickening black greenish color and it's _cold_ , it's freezing and _it hurts_ and suddenly there are electric bolts of _something_ coming out of her, it's too dusty to be light, it's too solid to be liquid and you never saw anything like it but you are pretty sure that if one of them strikes you, your own magic won't be able to spare you a world of pain.

Still, you have to try, so you stand up carefully, assuming a non-threatening stance, and your hands are up in a conciliatory move while valiantly take a step forward, but David is also standing up and his entire frame is hardening defensively. The fool steps right in front of you, facing the fairy, and you want to scream.

"Tinkerbell. Calm down," David commands, trying and failing to keep the sternness out of his tone.

And _of course, she explodes._

 **"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!"** she roars and her magic is howling out her outrage, her pain, and her grief, and she is projecting some sort of wind but it's a wind you never experienced before, it's heavy, it's opaque, _it's has color_ , a gray verging on black and it's made of the same dusty thing her bolts are and when you inhale it, you immediately start coughing, your eyes are watering, your skin is crawling, your magic is recoiling, and you are horrified because this? This is not _dust_ , her magic is spitting out ashes, _human_ ashes, and if she does not calm down, if she does not stop, she will bury all of you under it.

"Tink! Tinkerbell, stop! Stop!"

 **"How dare you?"** she screams at David, her eyes crazed and her magic vengeful. "He's telling me that I'm some sort of **freak** and you have the **audacity** to order me to calm down!?"

"You are not a freak! I didn't say that!" you yell back furiously, and you are aware that your own anger is not helping the situation, you are aware that Tinkerbell has lived more than a century believing that her true nature is the monstrous enemy of all fairies, but it is a lie. A lie far older than Ruehl Gorm but actively carried on by her all the same, and it's a belief Tinkerbell will have to battle against for a very long time.

"What is she?" David snaps, not taking his eyes off the woman for a second, even as they watered from the ashes filling up the air. Tinkerbell's lips curl up in an ugly snarl and her body is hunching forward, and David's magic is eagerly rising to the challenge, rolling all around his body like the waves of tumultuous sea. You do not even know if he is aware of it, like always his only goal is to protect. His magic is very young, very new, curious and careless much like an incorrigible toddler and not surprisingly, its youthfulness is paired up with an incredible strength, and while David is affected by the storm of human ashes that is pouring out on all of you, he's not slowly starting to suffocate under it like you are.

You have to end this now.

"She's a fae."

You pronounce those words as clearly and as strongly as possible, and it shocks something deep inside Tinkerbell, you can see it in her eyes, and you hear it in her magic. It is a horrifying sound, like the echo of a killing blow, and everything stops, the ashes, her aggressive stance, and her tears. Everything. She just stands there, rooted to the spot, closed off, in deep shock but her facial expression… God… it is bloodcurdling.

David's own face crushes up in distress, and you feel out of depth. You do not know how to make this right. You just want your mom back. The truth about Tinkerbell should have been something for The Queen to handle. Tink would have listened to her and believed her and accepted it a little more easily than she does now…

That's when it hits you.

"Tink… Mom knew."

David's back tenses but his eyes are still on the woman. He still does not turn around, standing between you and a potential blow-up. Tinkerbell's eyes are the only thing telling you that she heard your words. Otherwise, she does not move from her frozen and devastated state.

You once again assume a non-aggressive stance and you wave your hand. A stack of paper appears before you and even from there, you can see that Tink recognizes your mother's handwriting, being more than familiar with it after all the letters she exchanged with The Queen during the missing year. Those are your mother's researches, something the Dark One, the fairies and most of the witches and wizards in all lands confounded would kill for.

You raise the first piece of paper to eye's length and you start reading.

_"Tink got drunk last night. She blamed me for her banishment into Neverland and cried against my chest for two hours straight. She passed out on my couch. While it was highly entertaining and not that much of a surprise, what I felt coming from her magic, as well as what I saw lurking behind her words, was."_

_"She told me she felt more connected to me than she ever did with her peers, her fellow fairies, and even if I'm definitely more likeable than a bunch of winged stuck-up bitches with glowing sticks, it is strange that Tink would feel more akin to me than she does to them. She should be connected to all fairies in all realms for they are kin, if not by blood then by magic. There should be a bond, forged millennia ago and maintained lives after lives, something tangible and undeniable. There should be **something** , and yet she does not feel **anything**. It is not right. No matter the state of her relationship with them, the fairies are supposed to be a family, one unit, one home and she should fundamentally know it and recognize it."_

_"But she doesn't. She does not realize it yet. Something is wrong."_

_"Last night, I felt something strange within her magic, something foreign and hidden and… I do not know, sealed. It was only a brief flash, but it was enough for my own magic to sit back and take notice. It was definitely powerful though… and new. And I'm curious. Henry is not here, he is still with Miss Swan and despite what he said when he was in Peter Pan's body, I still do not think he needs me anymore. In fact, I do not think he needs me at all. I have nothing else to do. And like I said I'm curious. There is no harm in starting a little research. At least I hope so."_

_"David warned me sternly not to borrow trouble and he looked exasperated when I informed him that I had no clue what he was talking about. It is still strange to have him reading me so well, but while his worry is appreciated, it is unnecessary. He has enough on his plate anyway. Besides, I know what I'm doing."_

You swap off the pages, and continue to read, ignoring the sting in your eyes and the adults' heavy and reverent silence.

_"I have no clue of what I'm doing. We are all back in his forsaken castle and only David's constant presence, Tinkerbell's letters and Roland's smile are stopping me from jumping off the highest turret. I hate this place. I hate all the memories that come with this place; I hate the nightmares, the sickness, the loathing, the disgust that come with this place. I hate everything and because I constantly feel like this, it is so easy to start hating everyone all over again."_

_"This is once again my prison, never my castle. No, all of it belonged to him, his castle, his kingdom, his bedroom…"_

_"Everything here was his… Including me..."_

_"That ignoble rapist! That pedophile!"_

_"I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't…"_

"Henry…" David interrupts pleadingly, and his voice is wrecked and Tinkerbell's chest heaves as she struggles down the bile rising in her throat and you don't fight it when he takes the papers from you, you are glad he doesn't touch you, you cannot be touched right now. You already guessed what thrice cursed old bastard did to her, you guessed it before, but it was a fleeting thought, one you never let linger more than a nanosecond in your brain, because you did not want to, she's your mom, she's _mommy_ , God, _God_ … you never wanted to think about it but with magic comes clarity, with clarity comes knowledge and eventually, those cracks and divots inside her soul, you could see them and suddenly you knew, you knew what they were about. But to know it is different than to read it, to read her own words about it, and _you cannot deal with it_ and David is here, he's holding the researches and he's reading them now, skipping those passages and his words, your mother's words stumbled hastily out of his mouth as he's trying to move forward, to move away from the ugly, ugly, ugly truth about his wife's father. The one she covered for her whole life.

_"Today, David and I spent our entire time horse racing in the abandoned lands of Harrison Pierce, the famous builder who was rumored to have buried alive a fairy under a non-negligible amount of magical pewter. It has been an excursion of five days to get to that place but it was well worth the trip. I know that David is suffocating in the castle. Things are getting uglier and uglier between him and Snow and as the days pass, I can see his rage and betrayal growing into an insurmountable wall, one that will not allow forgiveness to make its way towards Snow, if she does not start changing her attitude. I feel so deeply sorry for David, (not guilty though, never again, I do not want a repeat of how he reacted when he realized I was feeling that way about his relationship with his wife) but I feel somewhat responsible too. It seems that being back in the Enchanted Forest gave Snow all the reasons to once again being the selfish, judgmental brat I always knew her to be. But David knows the truth now, and it changed him. He will never be the same; it is mystifying to me that she cannot see that. She is unable put back her leash on him, no matter how hard she's trying to. Stubborn little wench… refusing to admit her wrongs, to admit her lies, to admit her crimes, despite David knowing them. She is completely wrapped up in her twisted way of thinking: She is a hero and heroes are never wrong, the heroes only sin for the greater good. She is stuck in a limbo, a cocoon of lies that have become her sanctuary, her armor, her everything, and she expects everyone around her to follow her lead, like always, and they all do, expect for David. Snow does not realize that Prince Charming no longer exist to robotically swallow her every lies and do her every bidding. She is losing her husband and while a large part of me rejoices in the suffering of that bitch, the rest of me aches for David. He deserves better."_

_"We found an old and creepy abandoned crypt frailty standing in the west of Pierce's lands. People said that the very ground of them is cursed. Of course, that only increased my curiosity, I will always want to go where there is magic but David would not let me go alone, and packed both our bags, then scolded me about my safety while conveniently trying to hide the fact that he was as excited about this trip as I was. Neither of us has been there before. I could not help but notice that the thief did not seem pleased to see me go for such a lengthy time. His blue eyes had followed David's actions with a hardening glint, and a stormy frown had marred his brows. I of course ignored all of this nonsense when I lavished Roland with goodbye kisses. What that man feels is none of my concern, none of my business."_

_"David would not let me enter the crypt first, which prompted me to trip him, which made him retaliate with a shove on my royal person, which led us to a bit of a scuffle, one that I won by blinding his sight with a cloud of dirt and sitting on his chest. It took ten minutes for him to accept his humiliating defeat and another ten to convince him to let me go first. He is such a sore loser, I swear."_

Your grandfather's wry and sarcastic reading falters when he hears you stiffle a giggle as Tink smothers her smirk. He continues with a pleased and appeased look in his eyes.

_"That crypt was a real marvel, a true vestige of some powerful and ancient magic. Centuries old magic. I do not know how it is possible, since it could not have been built that long ago, but the magic there certainly feels this way to me. Whoever wielded such power is long gone anyway, yet, their presence is still lingering in the air… it is not heavy, or cold, or sad, it actually feels like a gust of warm wind during a summer evening, it is comforting and familiar. I like it. I found some incredible books hidden behind a false wall, separating the altar and several tombs obviously meant for some very important people buried there. All of those books were pouring out strange residual magic, a kind of energy I have never encounter before and I was so pleased to acquire such items that David stopped his pestering and let me enjoyed my exploration. It is odd the way he started to feel so jittery since we entered the crypt. He kept flinching, his body jerking around, as if he was trying to escape an invisible hand touching him. Surely not… It is not as if he can actually feel the magic here… or can he? Hmm. Another thing for me to research then. "_

David pauses in his reading, and you can see he is surprised by your mother's observation and her decision to investigate a potential in him. He shakes his head then, and open his mouth to resume reading but Tinkerbell is suddenly moving into his space and extending a trembling hand, silently asking for her turn. David looks at you and you shrug helplessly. Why not? Maybe mingling her voice with your mom's will make the truth behind the words less bitter to swallow.

Tink takes the papers and starts reading, and her voice is surprisingly much stronger than you thought it would be.

_"How strange, there was a pit, deep inside the crypt, and it was definitely not a common grave. It dived into the ground for about seventy feet by one hundred and forty feet and it was sculptured like a small arena. At the center of it, stood an altar and as I made my way towards it, ignoring David's fierce imprecations, my eyes widened and I must admit it, I felt a shiver of unease."_

_"The altar was made of pewter-"_

David lurches forward and rips the papers out of Tinkerbell's hand, raising his arm above his own head when she curses him and tries to take them back. You watched bewildered as Tinkerbell grasps the man's shirt and stands on the tip of her toes, desperately trying to get the researches back.

"David!" she screeches, "David, you complete _oaf_! Give them back right now, or _I swear…"_

"It's for your own good!" the shepherd exasperatedly retorts while stretching his arm to the maximum, and the fact that Tink has not thought of using her magic to get them back is a testament of her anger, "I was there when she went and touched that goddamn altar! I can tell you what happened and I can read the rest of her researches, or at least what is relevant to your true heritage, but I will not read _that_. And neither will you, either of you, _so don't even try it."_

His last words are directed to you as he turns his head to look at you and his freezing gaze stops your subtle attempt to slip the papers from his grasp.

You give up and stubbornly glare at the wall on your left, while Tinkerbell's shoulders slump as she takes a step back and releases David's shirt.

Your grandfather sighs and softens his voice as he considers the two of you.

"It was bad, after she touched that thing. It was really bad. I could not bring her back to the castle; she would not have survived another five days' trip. So, I brought her inside one of the abandoned houses and I tried to nurse her back to health. I could not do much though, for the first three days … she was… delirious. She was in agony. I don't know what she saw or relived when she was in that state but I can guess. I'm sure you can too."

Tink nods sharply, while you can do nothing but stare at that wall, hurting inside.

"On the fourth day, her eyes and her hair had changed color. They were gray, the exact same shade than the pewter altar. Her hair also had the shimmery quality that liquid silver has, but her eyes… it was like a whole universe was rotating in them, I swear, you could see a storm forming inside of them. That's when I knew for sure that whatever was happening to her, she was either fighting it or studying it. So I watched over her, and eventually, her nightmares lessened… her pain abated."

David swallows and hesitates for a few seconds before adding,

"She woke up on the ninth day."

Tinkerbell is already opening her mouth, wanting to know about David's' obvious evasion but he shakes his head and raises his hand, cutting her off before she even starts.

" _Don't_. Just know that when she woke up, she had gained some knowledge about the fairy Harrison Pierce was rumor to have trapped under magical pewter. Except that it wasn't a fairy. Nothing that powerful and able to share its _millennium_ of history and suffering, centuries after its death, could be a mere fairy."

Tinkerbell's eyes are so wide open that you swear you can see the very structure of her irises. David looks like he wants to say something else, but instead, he raised he lowers his gaze to the papers and you can see his eyes swiping through the passages he does not want you to hear.

When he finally finds the right words, they are pouring out of his throat with a grim determination.

_"Tinkerbell is a fae. There is no doubt about it. I did every single test I could think off, because I was so scared of being wrong. I couldn't be wrong, too much was at stake, so I took a drop of her blood when I "accidently" cut her with my dagger, and it came out positive to all my experiments, as a matter of fact, it came out **soaring**. I checked her magical signature, her real signature a thousand times, I delved into it while she was sleeping and because I knew it was there, I was able to feel the lock around her energy, so I pulled at it, and the result… it was stunning. I had to drug her so she would not know what I was up to, but God… it was worth it. I did all I could do and now that I know… now that I know, I am a little dazzled. This is so incredible, absolutely astonishing! But at the same time, it's also heartbreaking. "_

_"What on earth am I going to tell her? She needs to know the truth, she is torturing herself every day, wondering why she isn't like the other fairies, why she doesn't fit in, why all the things that give fairies solace, always leaves her hollow and wrong and… God, she thinks she is a freak. I know that feeling too well. I don't want her to feel that way, she needs to know how amazing she is, a real child of magic."_

_"I could **kill** Ruehl Gorm for this!"_

_"It's been months since I've known the truth. I still have not found the right way to tell it to Tinkerbell, I do not want to do it via a letter and unfortunately, with the wicked bitch of the West wreaking havoc in the kingdom, we did not have time to meet and properly talk… I need to do it soon though. This is a secret I feel no joy keeping; it's painful to see Tinkerbell struggled to level herself down to the other fairies when I know she is so much more than any of them."_

_"Besides, once she learns what she is and after we dived into how extraordinary powerful she can be, who will be able to stop us from murdering the blue fairy?"_

David rolls his eyes but his mouth curls up in a smirk and Tinkerbell barks out a startled laugh and shakes her head, but you can see a glimmer of excitement in her eyes, and you know she is hooked. There is not one soul in this room who does not want to make Mother Inferior suffer for her crimes, so many crimes and far greater than any villain you have ever met.

_"I've studied all the books David brought back from that crypt and I think my researches are complete, at least for the time being. To understand what a fae is, you need to truly know what a fairy is."_

_"We are not Gods, it is not on us to be privy of all the way the universe, the stars, nature, and magic govern us, birth us and kill us, only to do it again and again and again. I do not know what preceded the other, planet Earth or Mother Magic. But I suspect it was Magic. I do not know how Death and Fate were created or by whom, but I know that as humans, we are slaves to the both of them. The only transcendent force in this universe is magic, and the highest salvation you can get in your existence, is to be marked by it, to have that potential, if you are deemed worthy of it."_

_"That potential may become a magical bloodline, as you birth children of your own, but like every predator, Magic can be cruel, and while having it in your blood is definitely an honor and a blessing, it doesn't take much for it to become a curse."_

_"I'm the living proof of this."_

_"A fairy is a creature that is utterly bound to Earth, they cannot exercise any ability or influence any reality outside of our planet, everything they are, everything they own, their power, their existence, and their magic… it is only relevant on Earth, which means it is also relevant in the ensemble of realms related and parallel to it."_

_"To my knowledge and travels, this is a list of most of the realms related to Earth: The Enchanted Forest, Utopia, Neverland, Brocéliande, Wonderland, Atlantis, Oz, Camelot, Agrabah, Samavia, Arendelle, Purgatory, Narnia, Maldonia, Zuy, Drusselstein, Katagena, Uqbar, Olympus, Avalon, Barsoom and The Old World."_

_"There are hundreds of other worlds, of course. Those are just the realms I know for sure exist because Earth exists. I have been to some of them. I avoided most of the others."_

_"I have found several example of the birth of a fairy, transcribed in sacred scrawls that held a millennium old legacy. It is explained that fairies are the result of a mix of magic and physical or spiritual beings of earth and so, the Red Fairy was born out of the blood of Adam dripping from the fingers of his brother Cain. The Red Fairy is the magical result of the First Murder."_

_"Magic is **intent**. As humans we can only peak its interest by the meaning we put behind our actions, by doing something of such high signification and such great magnitude, that the world will stand still, even if it's for second. That is actually how the Dark One was created in the first_ _place… through the astonishing blow of a new low for humanity… the corruption and the betrayal of the purest love. "_

_"I've found several others memoires filled with the retelling of fairies' births. The Yellow Fairy was born from the last and greatest plague Pestilence, one of the apocalypse's horsemen released in the very same city he has been destroyed. The Pink Fairy was born the first time Orpheus took Eurydice, when the both of them completely abandoned themselves to the other. The Gray Fairy was born the exact same moment Merlin was. His birth marked the end of the old era for all magical creatures, and the beginning of something challenging, something new and powerful, where fairies would have to redefine their place in the magical world. Merlin was an anomaly, a sinful merger; a child birthed out of a demon and a virgin, a child of light and darkness and meant to change the world."_

_"Change scares people. The fairies are no different."_

_"After Merlin's rise and fall, things started to change... Fairies started to change… in the way they viewed Magic, the way they treated it. The way they killed for it."_

_"Since they couldn't overcome the limitations imposed by their birth, they started to apply rules to magic. And not only theirs but the magic of others as well."_

_"The old texts are rather vague on this part, but as I understand it, all the notions of "Good" and "Bad" magic, "Dark" and "Light", "Pure" versus "Evil" came from the fairies and were amplified during that time. Suddenly, there was a specific way witches and wizards had to use magic, there were rules and distinctions and restrictions and morals and boundaries, things that had no business being applied to Magic. Suddenly, some magical creatures, less than willing to follow the fairies' lead, were dubbed "Dark" and their magical practices called unnatural. The very first dissidents were of course, the dragons. If the fairies could not govern the entire entity that was Magic, they would make sure than no one else could."_

_"And so, centuries after centuries, a false and twisted education of Magic began for all living creatures on earth and its realms. The fairies decreed that only a certain form of magic could be used, because only a certain form of magic was "Good", the only one they could use, of course."_

_"But Magic is and always will be sacrifice, it doesn't give anything without receiving something in return and while the fairies sacrificed diamonds to channel their power into fairy dust, it was certainly not enough to keep up with all the other magical beings, the ones who recognized the fairies' manipulation and blasphemy for what it was."_

_"Decades and decades of tyranny helped other creatures shape up a defense and an offensive against the fairies, and thankfully, a huge amount of them were wiped out by dragons, sphinxes, hydras, mermaids, phoenixes and many more magical families. It took three centuries of several uproars, revolts and small wars before the fairies found themselves at the bottom of the alpha list, but unfortunately, it is also during that time that Ruehl Gorm was born."_

_"I still don't know what event provoked her birth. Or why she took the mantel of the Blue Fairy. There is no report of it, and all magical beings are incredibly silent about that moment."_

_"I've look for information on that hateful bitch for a very long time. I won't give up until I have them."_

_"Those magical creatures that rebelled…they always knew that Mother Magic is neither "Good" nor "Evil", she just is. She is **everything** , she is **indivisible** , and so they had no qualm embracing and using all of its aspects, light, dark, wild and bastardy. Their love for magic was unconditional and unbreakable."_

_"And the same could be said about their hatred for the fairies."_

_"Exactly nine centuries of resistance passed before the eternal war found its culmination with The Great Purge."_

_"The Great Purge, the darkest and most horrifying war that ever happened in the magical world, saw the emergence of a very ancient family, older than the fairies, older than earth, and infinitely more powerful than them. The faes."_

_"The old books are frustratingly vague about where the faes were hidden during the eternal war and why they finally emerged during The Great Purge. I can only speculate that they could not stand by and do nothing while so many species were being completely wiped out by fairies. After all, it was during that time that the phoenixes found extinction."_

_"I only have a few scattered pieces of stories about the war between fairies and faes but it is enough to at least make a few educated guess about their abilities and origins. The faes, contrarily to the fairies, are NOT the result of a mix of magic and physical or spiritual beings of earth. As the matter of fact, they are not from Earth at all. The texts says that Faes are born out of Mother Magic, Gods and Stars. While Fairies are only relevant on Earth and her related realms and are not magically powerful enough to sustain themselves outside of Earth and her siblings' realms, Faes knows no such restriction and are able to influence the universe because they are **from** the universe. Our planet is only one of the many, **many** , planes of existence they go through, they do not cultivate or extract any power from it, and they are old creatures, children of Magic and Gods."_

_"Now, the texts are even less clear on what a God is. To be perfectly honest, I do not like or want to linger too much on that subject. I am not a believer, at least not anymore. I… tried. When I was younger, much younger, I tried so hard... I tried to have faith and I prayed, I prayed every day. I prayed until my knees were bleeding, I prayed until my throat was sore, and I beg to all the existing Gods to help me escape the constant beatings from my Mother, the pitying looks and shameful neglect of my father, and the horrifying and loveless life that was been paved for me."_

_"No one ever answered. So I eventually stopped."_

_"I never met an actual God, but I knew of Hercules, the Halfling. I knew of Ares and the rumors of what he did to the North of Barsoom, the massacre he wrought. Of course, as a sorceress, I have studied everything about Hera, Isis, Kali, Allat, and many other Goddesses, and while I sometimes killed and destroyed at their altars, rose up power to glorify their might, pillaged and butchered in their name, I never prayed to them. I gave offerings and in return I was sheltered by their benevolence but I could never bring myself to pray to them because that's when you become vulnerable, when you allow yourself to expose what matters the most to you."_

_"Thousands and thousands of pages exhausted under my fingers and the only thing I was tentatively able to deduce is that Gods are somewhat related to stars. However, I am not certain how. Are they made of it? Of their energy? I have no answer. There is definitely a connection though, because Faes use Stardust instead of fairy dust._

_"It took me a while to figure out Tinkerbell's progeny but I did. She is one of Dike's numerous illegitimate children; the one she had after she left Earth on Zeus's order, gave up on Humanity, and watched humankind plunged straight into the Brazen Age, a time of ignominy and injustice."_

_"Tink was born during that time. I have no idea how she came to become what she is now, how her true identity, her true nature was robbed away from her, how she became that outrageous living lie…I have no idea what Ruehl Gorm did. But I will find out."_

_"I just hope that Tinkerbell will one day be able to accept the truth."_

David raises his gaze from Regina's studies to meet Tinkerbell's astonished expression. You are glad to see that any denial is now gone from her green eyes, but you are still aware that this is a huge blow to her _everything_. She just lost her sense of identity, her sense of being. The ground she is walking on will never be steady again, the color of sky is forever a bitter lie and while at least now she has the truth as a rope to hold on, it is going to be a long time before she does not fear the void, the emptiness that is below her feet. From now on and forever.

She turns her back on both you and David, and your grandfather gives you a quick wary and concerned glance. You do not want to force Tinkerbell into ascending. Oh, no mistake, you can. Contrarily to David, you do not need the woman's willingness for the processes to start; you just need the right _trigger_. Nevertheless, you do not want to do that to her, you do not want to take away her free will and then severely hurt her, not to mention that you are not sure your mom would forgive you if you did. After all, it been done to her.

Tinkerbell does not turn around as she says with a hollow voice,

"Diké was… is… was the Goddess of justice and moral order… was she not?"

David turns to look at you and you reply with contained fervor and barely disguised hope.

"Yes. Yes, she _is_ ," and you ignore the way the false fairy flinches at the present tense you use to talk about her mother. "She also has the pantheon of innocence and purity, she is connected to the constellation Virgo, she's a symbol of…"

"Virginity," David finishes in breathless whisper, his eyes are growing wide when the realization of what Tinkerbell can do finally sets in. "Faes uses Stardust, not fairy dust, which means you should be able to use stardust from the constellation Virgo on Regina! And with the sheer _purity_ of it… you will be able to give her a pure and untainted new life!" David is now walking straight to Tink and turns her around, both of his hands on her shoulders, and he's smiling that bright, charming smile of his, with his eyes a little wet and full of joy, and you can see Tinkerbell's soul clawing out of her hole of despair and reaching for the warmth and valiance of Prince Charming. You can see her regaining strength, confidence, and _excitement_ because she is…

"Her essence. David is her new blood and I am her new essence. Right?"

You smile at her and nod. Tink takes a deep breath and you know this is a done deal. She will do this, she will be the energy, the sweet powerful and unstoppable magical remedy that will revive your mom's magic and tear her away from the cold grip of death. She will be the rightful poison that make it impossible for Fate or Karma to taint the purity of The Queen's existence. Ever. She will be your mother's _freedom_.

"Alright… alright… let's… let's get this started, then," Tink murmurs and her left hand goes through her hair in a nervous and jittery gesture. She does have every right to be nervous, you think, with a pang of what you refuse to call guilt. David's exsanguination will be very painful, yes, but it definitely will not be anywhere near the level of excruciating pain Tinkerbell will go through to ascend. Once again, your gratitude is soaring through your magical aura and shining through your eyes. Tinkerbell holds your gaze and gives you a sweet and soft smile, and your throat is closing up, your hands are sweaty and your heart is pounding in your chest. Your mom is _loved_. She is so loved, and once she wakes up, strong and made anew, she won't ever have any reason to doubt it ever again.

"The basement is at your entire disposal, Tink. You can gather your energy and start on the path of your ascension there. Most of the work is on your part, as I am sure you already know… You will have to look deep inside yourself for this to work. Deeper than you ever did before. Now that you know the truth, no taboo or barrier should restrict your connection to your own magic. Forget everything the Blue Fairy taught you or even better, do the exact opposite. You are something to be discovered, something to be cracked open and torn apart. Once you have gone deep enough… once you have found the fae inside of you… I will come into play."

David's gaze goes back and forth between you and Tink, but all Tinkerbell does is blink. She is now calm and collected, bracing herself for the future pain, you realize, feeling somewhat pleased and guilty at the same time.

"Once you have reach the bottom of your magical core, to break you from this false vessel and wake up your true nature, I will… I will make it explode."

A dead silence follows your sentence and Tink's face is still frighteningly blank. David, however, is all but gawking at you, unsure that he heard you right.

"What?" he asks with an audible horror in his voice.

"Henry is going to blow up my magical core, David," Tinkerbell explains helpfully, her voice deadpanned and unwavering. "He is going to be the trigger of my magical disintegration. He's going to put me in a world of pain, more intense than anything I have ever felt in my very long life. He's going to help destroy me, the false me, so that the real me can emerge."

You sigh, but do not deny any of her words. What would be the point, anyway? David swallows twice before asking hoarsely.

"What are your chances of survival?"

"Slim." You and Tink both reply in a same somber voice and David closes his eyes for a minute, exhaustion and grief marring his handsome features once more.

"Alright then." He finally acquiesces. There is a dragging pause before you turn to Tink again and say,

"You may want to start now. You will not need anything that is not already in the basement to help you. David, you stay here with… with mom. I will go to the vault quickly to bring back what I need for the exsanguination."

David's face loses some of its color but still, the stubborn man looks ready to protest at you for going to the Queen's vault alone. He has already open his mouth when a crash resound above your three heads.

A crash coming from you mom's room.

It happens very quickly, quicker than a heartbeat. David's magic, young, powerful and impatient, snaps the three of you inside of her room, but you do not disappear in cloud of magic. No, instead, you are violently swept away in some sort of a tidal wave that feels like a tsunami, and it's cold, so cold and oppressive and it does not let you breathe until you are once again on the solid ground.

You and Tinkerbell barely have time to gather yourselves when David prowls straight to your mom's bed, looking essentially like a gladiator, a _predator_ ready to kill any threat coming his way.

Except that, there is no threat.

What you all find instead is Roland, bundled against the Queen's cold and dead body, one little hand clutching her hair, the other gripping what you recognized as **_The Caduceus_** , the long and very sharp staff of the God Hermes.

The boy does not make sound, but when he turns his head towards the three of you, Tinkerbell let out an involuntary intake of breath while David audibly hisses.

The left side of Roland's face is a bloody mess. It is swollen and harshly beaten. There is also a steady streak of blood coming from his hairline and making his way through his collarbone. He shifts a little and you catch the glimpse of a bottle caught between his body and your mom's. You let out a noise, a mixture of pride and annoyance, of guilt and respect. Of worry and jealousy.

"Well," you murmur as David sits on the bed but does not try to touch Roland, "It looks like I won't have to go the vault anymore."

Tinkerbell stares at you, speechless, and then follows yours and David's gaze to Robin Hood's son, who eyes are once again clear blue, magic, hunger, power and grief warring inside of them.

Then, the inevitable clairvoyance happens and David looks like is going to throw up, while Tink is shaking her head, terrified.

"Henry… you cannot mean… you cannot think…"

"I do." Your voice is implacable, it is commanding, and it forces everyone in the room to hear you out, "Out of the five sources of life that we need to get her back, we only had four. You said it yourself; Robin has to be The Anchor. David is the Blood. You Tink, are The Essence and… I am… I am The Heart. There are… circumstances that… I _cannot_ be anything else, but _he_ …"

Roland's eyes have not left yours and _oh_ , you can feel how powerful that little boy is going to be. You can already see his magical intricate esthetics, directly imprinted from your mother's. They magically look alike, just like you and her look alike, any magical being out there would mistake you and that boy to be brothers, and you cannot not help but _love and hate him for it._

"Roland is The Breath. It cannot be anyone else. He already took a pledge."

The boy blinks, confused but not as wary as he ought to be. He does not relinquish his grasps on your mom or his stolen items and he whispers,

"She calls me her little knight."

David closes his eyes in defeat. Tinkerbell turns her head away, one hand covering her mouth, stricken, and you just smile, a slow, bitter and twisted thing that make your stomach hurt.

"Yes. She knew what she was saying."

* * *

 

**Hi y’all and welcome back.**

**Very sorry about the awful wait, I am afraid this chapter has been in the oven for a long time but it came out burning, blazing hot with fury, rage, indignation and so much love and hurt that I do not know how I did not choke on it. Between my last update and this one, Canon had time to kill Robin and effectively spat in the face of all the Regina’s fans.**

**But then again, it just confirmed what I always suspected about Eddy and Adam. So, I won’t’ enter into a debate about the how and whys I will not watch OUAT anymore, I do not think I need to explain it. The second a show starts to leave you nauseous with anger and become a pain rather than a pleasure to watch, it is time to quit it.**

**I will follow Regina’s progress but that is it. Consider me out of anything canon-related from now on.**

**Now, “At Last” has still several blazing chapters to come, don’t worry, I plan to finish this fic with a huge BANG. Aaaaand after that, dive head first in the EvilCharming pool of pleasure this fandom has to offer, by giving you all the best EC fic I can write. Be patient and bare with me, ok?**

**I want to thank all the people who left me a review, favored the story, and followed it. This chapter IS FOR YOU. The more reviews I got, the more motivated I am to give you the best and as fast as I can, Real Life permits of course.**

**So Thank you:**

  * [thisisacrazydream](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/536242/thisisacrazydream)
  * [Domitia Ivory](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4510238/Domitia-Ivory)
  * Ella
  * [scrumtiouslynervouscollector15](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5369482/scrumtiouslynervouscollector15)
  * [pt159](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5739952/pt159)
  * [Jime-chan](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1180106/Jime-chan)
  * [dakota1979](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/5672025/dakota1979)
  * [letgolaughing](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3648884/letgolaughing)
  * Appreciation
  * [HuddyJibbsAddict](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/2749480/HuddyJibbsAddict)
  * Chocolateaddict
  * [Sofi](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4715444/Princess-Sofi)
  * [Galxychld](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/166021/Galxychld)
  * [DemonicDreams](http://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonicDreams/pseuds/DemonicDreams)
  * [randomfatechidna](http://archiveofourown.org/users/randomfatechidna/pseuds/randomfatechidna)



 

  * A special message to my dear [**letgolaughing**](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/3648884/letgolaughing), whose fics I read and re-read on a daily basis, in the bus, at work (I know I shouldn’t) or at the gym. Whose comprehension of Regina’s character brought tears in my eyes and happiness in my heart every time she wrote a story. Whose words enchanted me beyond joy and pushed me to rise up to her level of writing. David and Regina’s relationship in this story is a direct gift to you, and David’s outburst in this chapter is my tribute to your works. I love you for the great joy you brought me, sweetie, thank you.



 

  * And finally, a very special thank you and huge warm, cozy hug to [**Galxychld**](https://www.fanfiction.net/u/166021/Galxychld) my beta, who corrected those 23 pages with grace, despite the all typos and other horrors hidden in them! Thank you dear, you are the best, I cannot say it enough.



 

**Please, let me know what you thought of this looooong chapter, of the historic lesson in Magic, of David’s devotion, of Tink’s inherence, of Henry’s tidal rage, of our little knight, of everything! I love to hear your opinions and I will try to include your suggestions in the grand finale of this journey….**

**Review!**

 

 

 


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